We Matched!

It’s a few days late but we got the email Monday at 9:58am CT that hubs matched! That means it’s either MI or MN that we will match to.

I was at work, unpacking because we were literally moving into our new HQ building that day. I called him because I am not the most patient person (shocker) and he read the email over the phone. It felt surreal. Honestly, it really didn’t even hit me until last night. And then, it was more exhausted relief than anything. No big crying and screaming fit I had always thought I would do. Perhaps that’s saved for later?

As I mentioned before, because it’s not stressful enough, they drag the waiting game out until this Friday. Ugh! So, stay tuned and I will (hopefully) be better about posting in a more timely fashion. Maybe I’ll have more to say about some kind of emotional outburst. Just hopefully nothing too embarrassing….

Time to Be Me

Every year hubs med school has a live event called Hippocrates Café that focuses on allowing medical student the opportunity to express themselves artistically through story and song. Typically, a lot of people submit works and then a handful are selected to be presented. Some people perform their own works, while others are performed by professionals. This year, hubs written piece was selected and read by a professional! I am so proud of what he wrote that I felt it’s important to share. It’s a raw piece that truly expresses how these last few years have been, not only for him, but many others in med school as well.

 

Time to Be Me

By: Robert Mills

 

Confident to start, jovial to begin.

Living out my dream, I got this.

Wait. You say you went to what Ivy League school?

You too? And you…?

I’m just a kid from the hood, who’s made it out, so far, so good.

So pardon me if I don’t speak so eloquently.

I’m just tryin to do me.

I wasn’t afforded the social capital and wealth

That allowed you to achieve, seemingly carefree

Naw, that’s not me.

As I swim in this sea of unfamiliarity, I can’t help but wonder,

Why did they pick me?

And as the failures pile up, I feel I’m losing my identity.

Excuse me, is USMLE playing a cruel joke on me?

All the doctors said it was ADHD.

God please!

PLEASE take away this depression.

PLEASE take away this fear.

You’ve brought me so close to my dream, yet it’s on the verge to disappear!

This can’t be how my story ends.

I feel it deep down in my soul.

I was meant for this!

I can’t let this dream go!

Therapy has helped me to see I’m not an affirmative action case.

Despite my upbringing and lack of wealth,

I belong in this place.

What I realized is that the gunshots and the dope spots,

The broken homes, kids being left all alone,

The gang signs and the violent crimes,

Taught me some valuable lessons you can’t learn within four walls.

Like the social injustice spawning deep mistrust in a system that has historically disadvantaged us.

You see these life lessons ain’t in vain,

No matter how excruciating the pain.

And while these tools I’ve acquired don’t scream academic pedigree,

They do provide an empathetic demeanor, which has allowed patients to trust me.

So I’m done with the mask med students wear while being insecure inside,

God has brought me through too much mess to just run away and hide

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel,

And It’s not an oncoming train

It’s dreams fulfilled and destiny revealed through all of the pain.

Below is the video of the professional reading his piece. What an awesome honor to have been chosen and to be able to share such personal feelings with a group that understands so well. If med school doesn’t work out, I feel like a fine arts degree might be in his future….

This is Why

As the mother of a toddler, not a day goes by where I don’t hear “why?”. Every request is countered with the question, “why?”. Every statement, “why?”. All. The. Time. Of course I get to the point where my only response is “because I said so!” with far too much exasperation in my voice. These last few weeks have made me often wonder “why?”.

For starters, why did the plague hit our house…wait for it…the week of hubs exams?? Because that’s how we roll, that’s why. What fun would exam week be if there was not violent vomiting and explosive diarrhea to share? We’re apparently a loving family, we share everything….even those trifling germs. It hit nana, the toddler, and even hubs (thankfully his was after exams). Then tween 1 went down next, sent home from school merely days after finishing his first ever musical- thank you Jesus for holding that out!

So, that takes us to tween 2. First night parenting solo while hubs is away on a new rotation and he’s got a low grade fever. No biggie right? Get some ibuprofen and lots of water and he’ll be back to new in no time. Well, by 6pm it was clear the fever was lingering and the meds were keeping it at bay. Since asthma is always our first concern with him, I had him sleeping in my room to keep and eye on him. When 10pm rolls around, he’s knocked out, fever is almost nonexistent and I head to bed.

Here’s where it gets crazy. Why did I wake up, out of a dead sleep 2 hours later to check on him?? No noises, he was sound asleep. I felt his head and knew the fever had returned. Upon taking his temp, I knew we had a problem. The first time read 105.0. I couldn’t believe it so it took it again, several times- 103.3, 104.8, 104.4, 105.0. You get the idea. Crazy enough, he woke up, was totally coherent and did not seem phased by the high fever. A trip to the ER, quick triage, and we’re home with a diagnosis of Influenza A.

So, why did I wake up and check on him? Honestly, that’s all God. Some may say a “Mother’s instinct” but I can tell you, this mama was tired and I’m not one to wake and function like that. That was all God.

Why did he not have any side effects from a fever that high? I mean, I would have expected lethargy, confusion or even febrile seizures. Again, that’s God.

Why, with such a severe fever, was his asthma not affected- especially with influenza, which is known to wreak havoc on the respiratory system? If only I could share the crazy roller coaster of a ride we’ve had with his asthma- admits to the hospital, 911 calls, etc.- that would be a memoir on its own. A simple cold has landed him in the hospital for a few days stay. I have 2 reasons: first- you guessed it- God. Second, the flu vaccine. Thank GOD for modern medicine! The vaccine is not meant to prevent influenza, it’s meant to lessenthesymptoms and prevent death from influenza. It worked just as intended with him. I have no doubt that this particular strain could have caused immense turmoil on his lungs. Why do we all get the flu vaccine in our family? Because we want to protect those whose body may not be able to fight against the virus.

Why did I feel it necessary to share all of this info? Because God moved in a way that shook me to my core. He “took the wheel” and allowed me to care for my child. Something about our babies being in distress- whether they know it or not.

So, hug your babies, say a prayer of thanks, and get your flu vaccine! Why? Because I said so! 😉

Medical School Debt

There was recently a video online from a radio show where the host ridiculed the caller regarding he and his wife’s student loan debt. Both were doctors heading into residency. The caller was asking for advice and instead got talked down to and disrespected. Although that is the right of the host (it’s their show), I thought it was in very poor taste. What startled me even more, was when I read comments from people that watched the video, so few people really understood what the full medical school journey is. That, coupled with the constant questions of where hubs is in his journey, got me to thinking. I imagine there are a lot of people who really do not understand all that goes into becoming a doctor. All you hear about is a lot of school, insane hours, and insurmountable debt. I can assure you, all of those are correct. However, there were a lot of assumptions people made- at least based on their comments- that were incorrect. For example, that a Family Medicine physician does surgery. That is incorrect. They may do some small procedures, but Surgeons perform operations. That was just the beginning of the misconceptions. Here is a crash course on what the process and cost is.

Let’s talk timeline to fully lay out what this journey looks like.

Year 1: Classes that will require ridiculously expensive books (usually around $500 if lucky), laptop ($800-$1,000 for a decent one), apps for studying (upwards of $100-$200).

Year 2: Classes that again require books, Step 1 (the first of 3 board exams and the cheapest one at $600), Step 1 study course ($4,000 – $15,000 depending on what you choose), Step 1 study apps ($100-$300 each), Step 1 practice test ($50/test and you usually want to do multiple tests to ensure you’re scoring within passing range). If you don’t pass Step 1, plan on paying for all of that again.

Year 3: Rotations begin so transportation to/from practicing locations. Study items related to your rotation- not required but recommended. Step 2 (the second of the board exams and I believe around $1,200), study materials for Step 2.

Year 4: Rotations continue (see above). The largest cost is residency applications: $99 for the first 10 and then a per application fee after that. That doesn’t sound so bad right? Well, in most cases you will want to apply for MULTIPLE programs to increase the odds for interviews. For example, most people I talked to had applied to 35-40 programs, some even more. Using the current pricing, the cost for the applications alone would be over $400. That does not include travel to each interview you’re invited to. You are responsible for travel, lodging, and food. We’re talking hundreds of dollars for each trip. Now, you don’t get invited to interview at every place you apply. But, a few people I talked to had 5-10 interviews they attended. Think about that: 10 interviews at (conservatively) $700 per trip, we’re at $7,000. Of course, if it’s booked last minute and your airfare alone is $900 and it’s a high cost area so your hotel is $200 a night, that can break a budget quick.

So, once you’ve made it through fourth year and graduate, you’re a doctor! But you still have Step 3 you need to complete (I believe it’s around $1,600 for the test alone). The fun doesn’t end there- you now have residency! That is where you rotate through your specialty program for usually 3-5 years and get paid a meager salary- usually making less per hour than the custodial staff. But, it is better than nothing. If you chose to go further in your specialty, you would then do a fellowship, which is another few years. The fun can last for 10-12 years beyond undergrad! Are you ready to start your med school journey yet??

Now looking at that timeline and the number of non-tuition items that come up, you can see why my blood pressure skyrocketed while reading those comments. I’ve previously written about the journey to get into medical school. So, if you make it through that mayhem, you have to figure out how you’re going to pay for medical school. That is assuming you don’t have a wealthy family member than can cover the $30K/year tuition cost, lab fees, books, and living expenses since you cannot work while in medical school (we’ll get to that later). So, if you don’t have a rich Aunt Agatha or even a stingy Uncle Scrooge (that wouldn’t fund it anyway), you need to figure out how to pay for school (up front). There are a few options:

  • Save up your money and pay cash. So, after you finish undergrad, often a graduate degree as well, begin setting aside as much money as you can. For a state school (typically the cheapest) it’s usually $30K-$40K per year. Multiply that by 4 years and that is the amount you need. So, on the safe side, assuming you do not need basic living needs such as shelter, food, clothes, insurance, etc., you should be covered with about $160,000. But be careful to not have any unexpected things happen because that may cause you to reallocate your robust savings.
  • Enlist in the military. All branches (that I’m aware of) offer a “scholarship program”. This is different than an academic scholarship which we personally have not encountered often, if at all. You sign up to serve in the military, at their mercy for 4 years after medical school and they will pay for medical school and even provide a living stipend. Yay for Ramen money!! Actually, hubs did try this path since he had previously served in the military but was not selected. We’re not sure why, I say it’s because he’s old. All kidding aside, this is a great option. But, like we discovered, not everyone is accepted (even with previous military experience and active duty service). So, for those who go through the rigorous process of applying and getting in, but do not get the scholarship, please, forget the work and money you put in and just quit. That must mean it’s not meant to be.
  • Reach out to Sally Mae. So, when your rich relative and the military cannot help you out, there are student loans. You can get enough to cover tuition and then even a refund (to be addressed later). You may have an option after becoming a doctor to practice medicine in an underrepresented area (rural or urban typically) and after a period of time have all or a portion of those loans forgiven. We may go down that road, but are more focused on getting to the “becoming a doctor” part first.

Now, let me address this refund thing. A lot of people seemed to get annoyed that medical students get a refund. I will say our case is a little different because we have 4 kids. For most medical students, it’s just them and perhaps a spouse. Even so, beyond the tuition there are books, food, clothes (especially if you’re in clinic and don’t have business clothes), insurance, transportation, rent/mortgage, school supplies (laptop, paper, pencils, etc.). There are many expenses outside of just tuition. As a medical student, at most medical schools, they do not allow the students to have a job. Being a student is your job. Quite honestly, I can’t imagine hubs even trying to have a job. Between classes full time, studying in off time and something called sleep that doesn’t happen often, there is no time for a job. Not one that would pay for all the things mentioned above. You cannot stop and start school either. You know if you were in undergrad and didn’t have tuition for a semester, you might take it off and work and then come back in the fall. That’s not possible with medical school. It’s all or nothing. If you don’t believe me, ask the 8,000+ wives of doctors and students who regularly weigh in on these topics. So, in our case, that refund helps to replace the income that hubs had before school. Believe me, it’s merely a fraction of what he made, but every little bit helps. We don’t live extravagantly and use the money for vacations or big ticket items. Well, unless you count the car seat we bought for Ariah. Then yes, we did buy a large ticket item.

Let me really rock the boat for a second. Stop and really think. How many people do you know, coming out of undergrad and/or graduate school that do not have any student loans and have resources to pay cash for medical school? You know, that $160,000 for tuition? Don’t forget living expenses, travel expenses for year 4 when you have to travel all over the country for residency interviews and other miscellaneous items that come up during 4 years. Now, did that person you’re thinking of (if you can think of one) grow up in poverty? I’m not talking about race, I’m talking about class. Did they grow up living comfortable- surviving well beyond paycheck to paycheck? With an already growing doctor shortage, I just cannot understand how someone could say that the only people who should attend medical school are those that pay cash for it. I feel that would not only severely limit an already understaffed profession, but it would feel like we’re stepping into some caste system that allows only those with money the ability to pursue careers that can be lucrative. Not only as a physician, but lawyers, dentist, etc. I’m just saying, I don’t feel like the ability for my doctor to practice medicine hinges on how much student loan debt they have. I would rather they be great at their job- taking care of their patients- than what their net worth is.

So, I write all this to say that I cannot fathom how one could go to medical school without some type of assistance. Medical school is not just 4 years of science. It’s hours upon hours of studying, serving, and testing. The drive needed to be a doctor, in light of the debt you’re likely to have coming out, has to be fierce. We need doctors that are willing to practice medicine, care for patients, and change the world of medicine for the better. They’re mentors for our future and role models for our children.

 

 

Lucky to Be Alive

The kids in our house have been dropping like flies. Aden was in the ER for his usual asthma stuff, which was triggered by a bad cold. It’s so usual that the respiratory therapist even recognized us. And gave us the same lecture she gave us the last time we were there 2 months ago. Clearly it’s not really working because we were back again. Sunday morning I stayed home with all of the boys instead of going to church and it was a good thing I did, Elijah woke up with a 102.7 fever. Nice. Did I mention Asher was battle a nice little cold/ear infection too? Oh yeah, and hubs has mid-terms this week. Oh, and another thing, my boss is in town this week because it is performance appraisal time at work. Nothing says “I want to advance my career” like “I need to reschedule my performance appraisal, and take a day off because my kids are sick and my husband has mid-terms”. I may be misguided and presumptuous by saying this, but the thought did cross my mind that if I was a SAHM it might be a little easier. At least I would have one less thing to schedule around- work. But, I really do love my job. Continue reading