Well, it’s been a while. Certainly long overdue. I’ve missed writing but life has been extremely hectic. Hubs has been rotating through different pediatric specialties and I’ve been holding down the fort. The fort consists of the 4 kiddos, basketball (coaching the in-house team), middle school musical, state honors choir, school concerts, doctors appointments, you get the idea. Oh, and work. I have a new role at work so I’ve been climbing the learning curve hill for a while. It’s kind of funny because when people ask how I do everything, I usually say “by the grace of God”. I truly mean that. On my best days I feel like I’m failing and barely processing one moment at a time. Any “me” time is usually spent sleeping (if I’m lucky). On occasion I’ve made it out to get my toes done or was able to run to the grocery store on my own – because isn’t grocery shopping what every mom dreams of doing right after work in the 15 minutes of quiet time they have?!

I will say that hubs does an amazing job of helping out, when he can, and also recognizes when I need time away. However, he can’t always be here so those opportunities are few and far between. I also don’t count work trips as “me” time. Because they’re WORK trips. I’m WORKING. I appreciate having hot food and having a bed that is not inhabited by a toddler but I’m still working and have places to be at specific times.

So, I got to thinking. The last several months my head has been spinning and I know that most areas of our life are not changing any time soon. I need to change something. A few years back I did a New Year’s resolution of reading my bible everyday before I would get on social media or play games on my phone. Unlike all of the resolutions that I had done in the past (usually diet related and I LOVE me some food!), I actually did this one the entire year and it was transformational for me. Being that it’s that time of year again and if I’m being honest with myself, I’m unlikely to really embrace a new eating regimen, I need to think about other well-being options. I’ve decided to focus on me a little more. Ugh, that feels uncomfortable.

I talked through this with hubs before writing because it just feels weird. I’m so used to getting everyone else where they need to be or others items done before my own. Talking with other parents, I know I’m not alone. We often put our kids, spouses, pets, co-workers, bosses, <insert most everyone else>, before ourselves. Especially if you get moving so fast you are running on auto-pilot and do not even realize you’re doing it.

So, for 2020, the start to the new decade, I am going to focus on making sure a portion of my day is for ME. I am going to find different hobbies I love or things that interest me to fill in that time. For the first 5 weeks of the year I’ve joined a FB group to makeover a room in our house. It’s low key but super interesting and I’ve picked our bedroom so I can make an oasis to relax in after (2 birds, 1 stone?). After that, I want to start painting and drawing again. And, of course writing. I want to focus on my friendships too. I have a lot of amazing people in my life that I see regularly and if you look at my phone or social posts, you wouldn’t know that because I’m usually chasing kids and not getting pictures and spending time with them. It doesn’t mean I can go out every night, or even every weekend. But, it does mean I want to be intentional about keeping up with my friends and family. Getting pictures to remember how awesome 2020 was.

So, my dear readers – if any of you are even left out there reading this blog – please hold me accountable. Ask me what I’ve been doing for my hobby. Let’s get pictures together and keep in touch. It’s the people around me that can help keep me grounded and sane when life feels so, so crazy. Follow me on IG at @workingmommymemoirs or @karajmills so see if I’m actually doing what I said I was going to do. Here’s to an amazing start to 2020!