Starting Over

So, a few weeks ago I was going about my normal routine of cleaning the house and all that fun stuff that I LIVE to do on Saturdays and I had to marvel at the sight in our living room. Asher was playing on a blanket on the floor- really just rolling all over the place like the floor was on a steep decline. The older boys were playing Xbox and actually not fighting. I had to savor this moment. But, it got me to thinking. Elijah is 9, Aden is 7 and Asher is 6 months old. We essentially started over when we had Asher. Hello diapers, hello formula, hello sleepless nights.

When hubs and I were first dating we both had said we always wanted more than 2 kids. We didn’t specify age gaps or anything like that, how could we predict what life would bring us? We had Elijah relatively young, compared to when many of our friends and family have started their families. We waited a couple years and then had Aden. When we would have “naturally” (meaning what people would assume or suggest) had our third, I ended up with a non-viable pregnancy in my ovary. Crazy right? Anyway, shortly after that happened, I got my job in MN and we moved, so it didn’t seem like the right timing. So, fast forward 4 years and we announce to family and friends that we’re expecting again. We’re excited because, although there is a huge gap, I’m loving the fact that the boys can be more involved and kind of “get it” more than they would have if they were toddlers. Not to mention, I have some great little helpers!

Initially, people congratulated and of course asked a million times if we were hoping for a girl (I’d be lying if I said we weren’t but the thought of another boy didn’t scare me a bit- I’ve survived two so I know I can handle another one!). However, as some time went by, I started hearing the real thoughts: “Wow, how can you even think about going back to diapers?” (Easily- it’s way too hard to potty train a newborn), “Aren’t you a little old to be having more kids?” (Again, most of my friends and family are starting in their late 20’s early 30’s) and of course, the most common response… “Why would you even want to start over?”. Well, let me clarify. We are NOT starting over. Yes, maybe we’ve been out of diapers for a while now but we’re still raising our other boys. I once worked with a lady who had 2 kids, a boy and a girl. Natural stopping point right? When I was pregnant with Aden she commented that her one regret in life was that she didn’t have more children. She was in her late 40’s and her kids were finishing high school- too late for anymore (although with today’s medicine that may not be the case- but that’s another discussion). That stuck with me. Hubs and I have always said more than 2 so to just stop because of a gap- and one that that not decades- seems like a silly reason. Of course, after having Asher I cannot imagine only having the older boys. Each day he brings a whole new depth to the family like I had never even imagined. After all, without the threat of poopy diaper duty how else can I get the older boys to clean their room??

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