In the true spirit of “memoirs”, here are a few that have happened recently. I feel like the adventures that happen daily as a (working) mom can be exhausting when happening all in the same day. Clearly God had mercy on me and all of these things happened over the course of 2 weeks, which I suppose makes it more bearable. Maybe we’re just lucky, or maybe this is normal for you too?? I’m interested to hear….
I’ve been gaining some weight back (I love food!) so one morning I was thrilled to find I had a cuter looking pair of fat pants. I even had a newer shirt and necklace that, when all put together, made me forget I was wearing fat pants. We were out the door a few minutes later so I was rushing to get everyone dropped off and to work at a decent time. However, Asher had different plans. When I was holding him at the daycare, he decided to puke all over me. So much so, it went from my shoulder all the way down to the decorative buckle on my shoe. Nice fermented, formula smelling puke. It soaked through all the way to the skin. Thankfully, he wasn’t sick, it’s his weird little gag reflex thing, so I was able to have him stay at daycare. Unfortunately, I had to head home to find a new fat outfit and shower. Setting a new record, I was able to find a new outfit, iron it and shower within 20 minutes. I was only 30 minutes late to work. When I told my boss what happened, he just said “ooh”- you know in that way that really states “that’s disgusting don’t tell me anymore.” Nothing like keeping it interesting.
In the last few weeks I’ve been working on a new big project. This is one of those awesome, happens only once rarely in a career projects so I’m pretty stoked about it. Of course, that is the perfect time for kids to get sick right? I mean, forget getting sick when it’s the same old boring stuff. Please, children, puke your guts out the day before I have meetings with the executive team so I can look like I was up chasing zombies all night. Yes, this happened. Not the zombie chasing, the puking the guts out thing. Elijah had a tummy ache that we thought was just eating too much. It actually turned into the most vile smelling diarrhea and vomit we’ve ever experienced. Hubs, taking one for the team, was able to stream lecture from home the next morning so he stayed up, helped clean and then stayed home with Elijah that day. I was SO thankful because usually one of the boys gets sick during hubs finals week so I’m typically home with them during that time. And, on the bright side, Elijah was better by morning and the project moved forward just as we had hoped.
What Are the Odds?
In consideration of that project, I was reevaluating some of the computing setup I had at work. I do believe, outside of our IT department, I have the most computers so I have some odd setups. A couple of my larger machines had been utilizing external hard drives as a backup option. Before all of you fellow tech geeks go all applesauce on me, I am very aware that is not a good setup and we had been working towards a whole new setup. In fact, I had sent a meeting invite to a colleague in IT asking to meet next week to review the new way to set everything up and how this new project will affect that. I sent that email on Wednesday. On Thursday, I was attempting to check for a backup file and realized that the external hard drive on machine #1 was not responding at all. I even moved it to machine #2 thinking maybe the machine was flaking out. Nothing. I hopped onto machine #2 to pull backup files off of that hard drive. Much to my surprise, that one was unresponsive too. Weird. So, 2 different machines, with 2 different hard drives that contain 2 different sets of data both die within a day of each other? What are the odds? Really, though, what are those odds?? So, I sent them down to our IT department and they confirmed my fears. Both were toast. Best case scenario, we can see if a recovery company can try to get the data off of them. I mean, really, I’m still stuck on that whole odds thing. So, yes, that was not a great day. But, on the bright side, I was able to get the data backed up to a different drive so I have some kind of backup available. Seriously though, what are the odds?
School’s Out For the Summer
Thursday was the boys last day of school and for the next few days, we do not have childcare. The summer program doesn’t start yet, so hubs and I are splitting stay at home duties. I took the first shift on Friday. Easy right? Only 2 elementary school boys that can be fairly independent while I work from home. I should have known better. So, I’m sitting in the living room working on my project. I have the windows open just to make sure I can hear what they’re up to. All of a sudden I hear Aden yelling, and then crying, and within a moment he’s inside yelling for me.
M: “Yes Aden.”
A: “Elijah hit me in the ear with a box!”
M: “Why did he do that Aden?” Please don’t think I don’t care. We just know our lovely little Aden tends to be a bit of an instigator.
A: “We were playing cops and robbers and I was the robber and he was the cop and he threw a box at me.”
M: “Aden that sounds like police brutality so he should go to jail.”
Aden runs out the door and yells “Elijah that is POLICE BRUTALITY and you are going to jail mister!”.
About 30 minutes later Elijah comes sneaking inside to get a Band-Aid.
M: “Why are you getting a Band-Aid?”
E: “Aden stabbed me with a pencil.”
M: “Why did Aden stab you with a pencil?” Again, I do care it’s just that if Aden was being malicious, Elijah would have been screaming for me instead of sneaking in.
E: “He didn’t mean it. I had a cardboard shield and he went to stab it with a pencil and it went through it and stabbed my hand.” Ahh yes, now it’s mid-evil play and Aden was using a pencil as a sword. Logical I suppose.
M: “Well that didn’t work out so well did it?”
E: “Actually it did. He stabbed me.” Touché.
The neighbor girl who is also in elementary school, we’ll call her Glenda, comes out to play. Glenda is a sweet girl and a very smart girl, but not a super girly-girl, which is great with 2 boys. Sometimes a know-it-all (like Elijah), but the 3 of them always have a good time playing together. They’re all playing fine and about an hour goes by. I hear a loud whack, followed by Elijah sounding like he’s in legit pain. That’s the thing about being a mom of boys. Some sounds are just “boy sounds”, this sound was definitely a boy sound mixed with slight agony. That is the signal for me to check in. I get to the window to see Elijah crouched down and Aden and Glenda standing in front of him.
M: “Elijah, what happened? Are you okay?” I’m not panicking at this point because he’s now sitting quietly and I will need to save my yell for when it’s needed.
E: “Aden hit me in the chest with a baseball bat.”
M: “WHAT?!” Okay, that warranted a yell to let them know I mean business.
A: “No mom, I hit him with the soft bat, not the hard bat.” Okay, the “soft bat” is really a heavy plastic bat with foam over it. So, if swung hard enough, it would still hurt. Much like getting snapped with a towel. A towel is soft, but put some force into that snap and you can make a grown man scream like a girl.
M: “Seriously Aden? Why in the world would you think that was a good idea?”
A: “Glenda told me to!” Glenda is speechless.
G: “I really meant to say ‘scratch that’ before he actually did it.” I tip my head to the side. What the heck is that supposed to mean?
A: “Glenda said for me to hit Elijah because he was making annoying noises.”
M: “Really? Glenda that was not a good idea to tell Aden to do that. Do not hurt others. However, Aden, really man?! I don’t care if Glenda told you to do it, you DON’T DO IT! Would you jump in front of a car if Glenda told you to?”
M: “I don’t even know what to do with you three. Pick up your stuff and come inside.” I felt I was 1 accident away from an ambulance being needed…
I was thrilled this past week to see the hash tag “Distractingly Sexy” being used in response to a speech given by British scientist Sir Tim Hunt. It was a hoot seeing all the pictures and captions that the clever women in science had to share. I think it is fantastic that such a comradery and fun spirit came out of such archaic comments. Even hubs got in on the fun and laughed along with me at some of the great Tweets that were circulating. Which is why I *almost* tweeted the above picture of hubs helping work on our church landscaping project. He is in science, but most definitely not a woman. Instead, I’ll share here and say that he’s a man who supports women in science and is most certainly #DistractinglySexy working in the garden catching my woman tears to water the delicate plants.
I’ll stop now before I cause any trouble! Anyway, that’s all for the most recent memoirs. Stay tuned for the next installment…