Bag balm. We have a love hate relationship. It’s an AMAZING ointment to use for baby bottoms (it’s official use is for milking cows, but whatever). Seriously. My sister-in-law first told me about it when she had my nephew 11 years ago and we’ve been believers ever since. The stuff will fix diaper rash in no time. It’s not exactly great smelling, but it gets the job done. And when you’re dealing with a raw baby bottom, anything is worth a shot. The trick with bag balm, aside from its ability to moisturize, is that it is a protectant for the skin. So it is really hard to get off. You can wipe away the excess, sure. But just know there will be a little coating protecting that lovely epidermis of yours for a few more wipes or washings. It’s great. No need to reapply multiple times.
That’s where the love story ends however. Our first battle was several years ago when our sweet Aden was about 3 years old. He had the most adorable, fluffy, big curls ever. They were thick and fine and they fit his personality just perfect.
Aden decided that Bag Balm apparently looked like a “hair cream” and managed to wipe half a can into his delightful hair before we saw what was happening. Oh. My. Goodness. I didn’t know what was worse at first: the fact he had it in his hair or I would have to get it all over my hands just to get it out (as opposed to using baby wipes or a Q-Tip on their bottoms). I mean, what’s a little extra moisture in his hair? Especially compared to having antiseptic smelling hands for a week? It couldn’t be that bad right? Oh, it was. There was NO way out.
First, we scraped. That got the large chunks out, but it also mushed the remnants into his hair even more. We tried shampoo. Nope. We tried dish soap. That’s supposed to cut grease right? Nope. We tried homemade concoctions we found online. Nothing. Not a single thing was working to get that layer of grease out of his hair. So, the final option, a haircut. I was devastated and Aden, of course after being practically water boarded trying to get the stuff out of his hair, was not about to sit for a haircut. It took some patience, but my little innocent, sweet toddler went from his sweet 3 year old self to a small child after that haircut. He just looked so much older! And, it still took a good week to get that last layer of grease out.
At the risk of totally humiliating myself, here is the rest of the story. Bag Balm and I stayed on speaking terms but had grown apart as the big boys were out of diapers and we thankfully didn’t have a lot of intestinal bugs. Well, until recently. Thankfully the most recent episode wasn’t as traumatizing as the first (at least not yet I hope). You see, it works great on babies, but really, it works great on all ages. When the big boys get a bug where they’re wiping a lot and it’s getting uncomfortable, we bust out the Bag Balm. Same with the adults. And recently, it had hit me. I don’t have the time to sit in a nice warm tub for hours on end (as much as I would like to), so we move to option B- option Bag Balm. Well, of course that day I had errands to run and quite honestly, I have about 2 options for clothing right now- maternity yoga pants and work pants. So, I opted for the comfy route (the yoga pants if you were wondering) and headed to the store. I wandered around Target, enjoying a rare moment at the store by myself, in no huge rush to get back. The bum was feeling better so why not take my time right? Well, I get home and we’re unloading groceries and hubs says, “Hey, you have a grease mark on the bottom of your pants”. I figure it’s just from chapstick someone left in the dryer. I look in the mirror. Nope. Not. At. All. I had a dark, wide, and quite obvious mark up the seam of the pants, basically covering the crack. I either had the sweatiest crack ever for a cool October day or had wet my pants and it had traveled up the seam. Nice. And, to make matters worse, it was a rare day where I was wearing a maternity shirt that didn’t cover my butt. So, the entire time I was at the store, I was walking around with my grease mark hanging out. That’s where it could get worse, I suppose. Maybe someone took a picture of me, unknowingly, and will post it online. Heck, maybe it’s already out there. So if you see it, just let me know. I want to be able to at least benefit from whatever ad money they’re making!
At the end of the day, I know I won’t break up with Bag Balm. Not with another little one on the way and one still in diapers. It’s too valuable not to have around. I just need to remember to keep my bum covered!