Comfort

Finally Finished!

~ Kara Mills ~ 2 Comments

Back in late December, I wrote a post about what I was going to focus more on in 2020, namely, me. I was going to be more intentional, social, you get the idea. Well, 2020 determined that was a lie! I mean, at this point, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprise if robots activated and took over the world. I think most of us feel that (sadly) nothing feels surprising anymore.

In an effort to provide a small, unimportant but hopefully welcomed distraction, I’m happy to report we did finish our bedroom makeover. For the first time in a VERY long time, we have a bedroom that feels like a grown up room and not a college dorm room. I mean, most days there’s laundry everywhere and kids sneaking into sleep into our bed in the middle of the night. Overall, it can usually be used as a peaceful place to hide and/or relax. My goal was to make this as much like our happy place as possible. Since we don’t have the beach here, I wanted anything that conjured up those feelings to be included.

The nice thing about this was that in true broke college student fashion, we did this on more of a budget, gradually. Anyway, the biggest challenge, outside of budget and time, was figuring out how in the world to incorporate this chair.

This was a wedding gift my grandparents received (came in a set but the other broke) and at some point my grandma had it reupholstered in this delightful Naugahyde. Not too bad for 70 years old!

In case you’re wondering, yes those are liberty bells on the pattern. It probably wouldn’t have been my first choice but the chair is SUPER comfy and after this long, it’s become part of the family. Also, Naugahyde is legit super resilient. There are few wears or tears on it and it’s been through some stuff for sure!

This is way less appealing to look at, even compared to the Naugahyde!

Even using the chair as a laundry basket didn’t help. I mean, you can’t even enjoy how comfy it is. So, to dampen the exciting pattern, I opted for a pillow and throw that ties all the colors together.

The throw blanket (Amazon) is super soft, as is the pillow (At Home). It’s one of my favorite places to do conference calls – I can hide and be comfy all at the same time!

The other awesome thing we got to add to the room was the clock that my dad made. This was a total surprise actually but was perfect timing. 

#hotmess #foreverdormroom
We opted for a Duvet Set (Amazon) with accent throw pillows and lamps (At Home). The watercolor pictures I did myself with new frames (Hobby Lobby). We painted the nightstands white to match the theme. The headboard is made from flooring glued to a backer board.
Before of the angle facing the bedroom door. The college tag-a-long bookcase made me crazy!
We (meaning me) desperately wanted something to store our books out of sight. I needed to reduce the visual clutter! The cabinet and mirror (Hobby Lobby) were a tidier addition. 
Here are the full before and after pictures. We did get a new dresser a month or so ago that is not pictured. That “dresser” shown was actually the changing table we used for the kids. That, my friends, is the glamorous life of a med school family.

So while I had originally thought of this as a nice get away after busy weeks or weekends, it ended up being really great timing given the excessive amounts of time we spend at home now. So, while things are crazy, at least we have a place of refuge. 

Featured image from Pinterest inspirations.

Counting Down!

~ Kara Mills ~ 2 Comments

The countdown is on. Only 4 weeks (or likely less) until we welcome baby #4 into the family. This has by far been my toughest pregnancy. I’m not sure if it’s because of my “advanced maternal age” or because it’s a girl this time. Either way, it’s not been pretty. Aside from the physical challenges I’ve had this time (I feel like I’m perpetually riddled with arthritis, a bum hip, a bad back and the list goes on), my emotions are all over the board. Laughing one minute, crying the next, irritable after that. Hubs is supportive, but at a loss. The boys I’m sure are sick of it. I am proud to say that I’ve at least managed to keep the tears to a minimum at work- or been able to shut my office door! My apologies to all caught in my emotional crossfire.

This time around it’s been different, perhaps due to my roller coaster of emotions, but the engagement by others is just not the same. I’m guessing that it’s probably my less than cordial, don’t touch my belly unless I know you well or you’re invited, demeanor? Who knows? But sometimes it’s a little sad because I feel like maybe I’m just not as welcoming about receiving questions. I was really feeling bummed about this. I mean, we’re having our first girl and I can only shoot daggers at anyone inquiring? That doesn’t seem celebratory on my part.

Apparently that only applies to adults. I was recently at Target (sans kids!) picking some items up, one of which was diapers. I’m browsing the diaper aisle, befuddled as usual at the fact that they have every single size of the diaper brand/style I want, except the size I need. I’m digging around the shelf looking in case some got buried. There was a mom also nosing around looking for diapers as well. She had a little baby boy and a pre-school age girl with her. The girl I notice keeps looking at me. I smile at her and go about digging around for diapers. What happened next melted my heart, and I believe horrified her mother.

Girl: “That’s my baby brother”, she states his name and points to the little boy in the cart.

Me: “Wow, that’s great! I bet you like being a big sister?”

Girl: “Yes, and I have a bigger sister too.” She gives her name too.

Me: “That’s great. You’re lucky to have a sister and a brother.” I’m amused at this point but also don’t want to get too personal because that would be weird and you never know how people will react. I notice she keeps looking at my belly. “I have 3 big boys at home and now there is a baby girl in my belly!”

Girl: “I bet she makes noise. Mom I can hear her baby making noise.” At that moment, she skips over to me and places her ear on my belly. “Mom, I hear her baby moving!” Her mom is beyond horrified, apologizes, and tells her she needs to always ask permission.

Me: “Not even an issue. In fact, that made my day.” I couldn’t stop smiling. I really wanted to be able to reassure the mom as much as possible that it really was okay. But, I get it because I know some people that would not be okay with that. But for me, I loved the innocent enthusiasm. It was a welcome change. So, when I have my ridiculous instants of emotions, I go back to that moment and the joy she had to “hear the baby” and am happy I was able to be part of that moment, and that my baby girl could be as well.

Grandpa Green

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

This may not be a normal “working mom” post, but we all have loved ones we lose, working moms or not. I really don’t know another way to honor my grandpa- besides making choices that wouldn’t have him hollering “Judas Priest”!

People that knew grandpa before grandma died knew he was a goofball. Not one ounce of him cared what people thought. He was always in the moment, enjoying life. He retired from the post office when I was 4, so I really only knew the “retired” grandpa. I can’t speak to how grandma and grandpa were as parents. I assume they were fine- my mom and her siblings turned out to be successful, productive people. But, I can tell you, he loved being grandpa.

He was very passionate about taking care of his home and yard. You knew better than to touch the walls going up and down the stairs at their house. I laugh because my parents wouldn’t say boo about the boys touching the walls. If they did that at grandpa’s house, they would for sure get one booming warning before getting a good ol’ fashioned lickin’. You didn’t mess with his grass either- that was his summer hobby. He liked woodworking too. He even built custom Barbie furniture for his granddaughters. Of course he painted them bright green- that may have been the only paint color he had now that I think of it…

As much as he loved us, you didn’t mess around with him. When he said something, he meant business. I, being the oldest, of course had to test the waters with him. My most vivid memory was when he and grandma were over watching me and my brother. My mom had explicitly told me to not go to my friend’s house a block over. I, thinking grandpa was too old to catch me, decided to run over there. I mean, what was he really going to do?? Well, he chased me all the way to their porch (he ran way faster than I thought possible!). He carried me home, dangling me by one arm, swatting my butt the whole way. In today’s society, someone for sure would have called CPS. I’m pretty sure people in our neighborhood just looked and said “good for him”. Seriously though, I thought that he was going to beat me senseless.

grandpa

Christmas was always a very special time with him. I think he loved getting the grandkids riled up on Christmas Eve telling us Santa was on the roof. We would plaster our noses on the window trying to look. Now that I think of it, that was actually one of the few times he didn’t yell at us about getting our fingers or faces on the window. Of course, he would usually do that after he had had a few adult beverages with the parents and neighbors. I remember Grandpa and his neighbor Tony having a great time together on Christmas Eve. The party didn’t start until Tony and Virginia came over. Even as a kid, I knew that was when things would get fun. Those memories of Christmas Eve are so nostalgic for me. I even told Hubs that this Christmas didn’t feel the same because that whole dynamic is different. But I suppose that is part of growing up.

Grandpa was always active too. He kept walking regularly even after retiring and managed to stay in pretty good shape (see above comments about him chasing me). He would often play Trac Ball with us in the backyard or ride around the yard on my brothers moped (that usually happened after a few adult beverages as well).

I remember when I told him I was dating hubs. He was not happy. Like many in his generation, plus from a smaller town, he didn’t quite understand the idea of an interracial relationship. I asked him to at least meet him and then to form his own opinion. So, when they met, I mentioned that hubs was a history major (this was well before med school) and that he was also in the Marine Corps (Grandpa was in the Navy and Army and very proud of his service time). Grandpa did manage to put him through the ringer a bit, he asked a lot of questions, but by the end of the day, they were swapping war stories and hubs was relentlessly picking his brain about all of his experiences. And of course them both being named “Robert” didn’t hurt! I joke with him that I think grandpa liked him more than me! I can remember going over there and they would sit for hours sifting through old documents while grandma and I would sit there and smile.

iphone-002

The other thing he loved a lot was grandma. As an outsider you may not know it- they bickered ALL THE TIME. Grandpa yelling “Judas Priest June!” and she retorting “Oh shut up Bob!”. It often served as our entertainment growing up. Probably the most memorable moment was the Christmas before grandma died. We were all playing cards- all the grandkids, spouses, grandma, and grandpa. They started arguing about which way you deal the cards- do you deal to the right or to the left? I mean really arguing. Like we were laughing and peeing our pants because these two were so serious about which way to deal the cards. The best part is that we all still laugh about it. In fact, I don’t think we can all play cards without mentioning it.

When she died, honestly, he died with her. He really wasn’t the same again. He didn’t know how to function. So, for the last 9 years, we’ve had a different version of grandpa. Sometimes, he was hard to love. Sometimes, he was just plain annoying. Most of the time, he was just not the same. So, when he passed away earlier this month, I was surprised. Mostly because it’s what he’s been saying he wanted since grandma died and no matter how much he smoked and his health failed, he just seemed to be hanging on. So, I believe grandpa got what he wanted for Christmas, to be with grandma again. We just hope she was ready for him!

Bag Balm

~ Kara Mills ~ 2 Comments

Bag balm. We have a love hate relationship. It’s an AMAZING ointment to use for baby bottoms (it’s official use is for milking cows, but whatever). Seriously. My sister-in-law first told me about it when she had my nephew 11 years ago and we’ve been believers ever since. The stuff will fix diaper rash in no time. It’s not exactly great smelling, but it gets the job done. And when you’re dealing with a raw baby bottom, anything is worth a shot. The trick with bag balm, aside from its ability to moisturize, is that it is a protectant for the skin. So it is really hard to get off. You can wipe away the excess, sure. But just know there will be a little coating protecting that lovely epidermis of yours for a few more wipes or washings. It’s great. No need to reapply multiple times.

That’s where the love story ends however. Our first battle was several years ago when our sweet Aden was about 3 years old. He had the most adorable, fluffy, big curls ever. They were thick and fine and they fit his personality just perfect. aden

Aden decided that Bag Balm apparently looked like a “hair cream” and managed to wipe half a can into his delightful hair before we saw what was happening. Oh. My. Goodness. I didn’t know what was worse at first: the fact he had it in his hair or I would have to get it all over my hands just to get it out (as opposed to using baby wipes or a Q-Tip on their bottoms).  I mean, what’s a little extra moisture in his hair? Especially compared to having antiseptic smelling hands for a week? It couldn’t be that bad right? Oh, it was. There was NO way out.

aden-bag-balm

First, we scraped. That got the large chunks out, but it also mushed the remnants into his hair even more. We tried shampoo. Nope. We tried dish soap. That’s supposed to cut grease right? Nope. We tried homemade concoctions we found online. Nothing. Not a single thing was working to get that layer of grease out of his hair. So, the final option, a haircut. I was devastated and Aden, of course after being practically water boarded trying to get the stuff out of his hair, was not about to sit for a haircut. It took some patience, but my little innocent, sweet toddler went from his sweet 3 year old self to a small child after that haircut. He just looked so much older! And, it still took a good week to get that last layer of grease out.

aden-after

At the risk of totally humiliating myself, here is the rest of the story. Bag Balm and I stayed on speaking terms but had grown apart as the big boys were out of diapers and we thankfully didn’t have a lot of intestinal bugs. Well, until recently. Thankfully the most recent episode wasn’t as traumatizing as the first (at least not yet I hope). You see, it works great on babies, but really, it works great on all ages. When the big boys get a bug where they’re wiping a lot and it’s getting uncomfortable, we bust out the Bag Balm. Same with the adults. And recently, it had hit me. I don’t have the time to sit in a nice warm tub for hours on end (as much as I would like to), so we move to option B- option Bag Balm. Well, of course that day I had errands to run and quite honestly, I have about 2 options for clothing right now- maternity yoga pants and work pants. So, I opted for the comfy route (the yoga pants if you were wondering) and headed to the store. I wandered around Target, enjoying a rare moment at the store by myself, in no huge rush to get back. The bum was feeling better so why not take my time right? Well, I get home and we’re unloading groceries and hubs says, “Hey, you have a grease mark on the bottom of your pants”. I figure it’s just from chapstick someone left in the dryer. I look in the mirror. Nope. Not. At. All. I had a dark, wide, and quite obvious mark up the seam of the pants, basically covering the crack. I either had the sweatiest crack ever for a cool October day or had wet my pants and it had traveled up the seam. Nice. And, to make matters worse, it was a rare day where I was wearing a maternity shirt that didn’t cover my butt. So, the entire time I was at the store, I was walking around with my grease mark hanging out. That’s where it could get worse, I suppose. Maybe someone took a picture of me, unknowingly, and will post it online. Heck, maybe it’s already out there. So if you see it, just let me know. I want to be able to at least benefit from whatever ad money they’re making!

At the end of the day, I know I won’t break up with Bag Balm. Not with another little one on the way and one still in diapers. It’s too valuable not to have around. I just need to remember to keep my bum covered!

 

 

A Very Special Blanket

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

I love blankets. I kind of feel like you can never have enough of them. Well, unless you have limited storage space like we do. But really, who doesn’t love a great blanket to snuggle under?! The big boys have a variety of blankets they have been gifted over the years so when I was pregnant with Asher I made it a point to get at least 1 blanket that was “just his”. It wasn’t a hand-me-down like most everything else he has. For one of my showers, a dear friend got Asher a blanket as well. This was not just any blanket, it had characters on it. Now, some people know that I am not a fan of character covered anything. It’s just not my thing. So, when I first peeked a glimpse of the blanket I was a little worried. Please don’t let it be one of those newer, creepy cartoon characters. You know, the ones that are on TV now that are so different from the Saturday morning cartoons we used to watch. Anyway, I saw that it was a Toy Story blanket, one of Hub’s favorite Disney movies. I guess it can’t be that bad right? I pulled the blanket out and it was a big double lined fleece blanket with Toy Story characters and soft fringe. It even had Asher’s initials in the corner. ADORABLE! Gasp! Was I really liking a character blanket?? I guess this third baby was making me soft!

Fast forward about a year and we’ve begun using it regularly in Asher’s playpen (you know how you can’t have blankets within 10 feet of a baby while they’re sleeping so we waited to use the big blankets until then). When we were packing for our trip to Michigan over Christmas, I thought it would be the perfect blanket to bring along. It’s big and cozy and he really seemed to be loving it. I also brought 2 of his other favorite blankets hoping to make his “mobile” sleeping experience a little better.

About half way through our trip, on our way to my parent’s house, we encountered some pretty nasty weather. It was cold, so cold that the buckle on the car top luggage carrier broke clean off and we had to CRAM everything in the back of the car. As I was driving, we noticed that traffic suddenly slowed down. We were in the far left lane and just up ahead there was a car that had crashed so hard into the concrete median that is was propped up at an angle. Just beyond that was another car that also appeared to have crashed and it’s front bumper was on the ground. There was a lady standing near the propped up car but there were no emergency vehicles there yet. As we begun to pass the second car, we realized that what we thought was a bumper on the ground was actually a woman lying in the snow on the shoulder of the road. I pulled over and hubs jumped out to go check on her. The boys, of course alarmed by seeing what they thought was a dead body on the side of the road, began praying for her. We prayed for the people in the accident, those who were helping and those on their way. A few moments later hubs came running back looking to see if we had any blankets available to cover her up. She was likely okay- probably just in shock. They didn’t want to move her but it was too cold to keep her uncovered. All we had were Asher’s 3 favorite blankets. So, without much thought, we dug them out of the back of the car (I literally had some of our luggage sitting on the side of I-94 trying to find things) and he took them back over to cover her up. When I got back in the car, I was torn. Do I just say keep the blankets? The other 2 blankets were hand-me-downs and although he loved them, he really loved the Toy Story blanket. And it has his initials on it. But do I sound like a selfish jerk asking for that back? And then I realize I sound even more of an idiot because I’m worried about that while this lady is laying on the side of the road in the snow. After a bit, the police showed up, got Hubs statement, and then sent him on his way. He got back in the car and said that he told them to keep the blankets. Without any forethought to my words, I told him we needed the Toy Story one back. It has his initials, it was a gift, and he loves it. So, because he’s wonderful, he went back and got the blanket (they were getting her into the ambulance by then so she was no longer using the blankets). So, after a good washing at my mom’s house, he was able to snuggle back up with his blanket. He’s been using that at bed ever since.

It wasn’t until earlier last week I realized how much he loves that blanket though. I had it in the laundry and was washing it for the second time because I had let it sit in the washer too long. Anyone else do that? I finally had it in the dryer when I was putting Asher to bed. I grabbed another fleece blanket and tucked him in. He was not interested in going to bed, which is weird because he basically puts himself to bed every night. He literally takes us to his room, has us rock him, and then points to his crib when he’s ready to go to sleep. So for him to be fussy was unusual. I figured that the easy bedtime was a phase and he would have to cry it out. Well, over 30 minutes later, he was still crying. The dryer finished and I took the blanket in there as a last ditch effort to get him to sleep. As soon as he saw it, he smiled, danced and grabbed for it. He immediately laid down and fell asleep. SERIOUSLY!

That is when I was SO thankful that Hubs went back and got that blanket. This amazing blanket is not only Asher’s favorite, it has some fun stories and meaning behind it. It was a very thoughtful gift, personalized to him, and also helped someone in a time of need. I like to think that if that blanket could help a stranger in their moment of distress, it can certainly comfort Asher, and it does every night.