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Finally Finished!

~ Kara Mills ~ 2 Comments

Back in late December, I wrote a post about what I was going to focus more on in 2020, namely, me. I was going to be more intentional, social, you get the idea. Well, 2020 determined that was a lie! I mean, at this point, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprise if robots activated and took over the world. I think most of us feel that (sadly) nothing feels surprising anymore.

In an effort to provide a small, unimportant but hopefully welcomed distraction, I’m happy to report we did finish our bedroom makeover. For the first time in a VERY long time, we have a bedroom that feels like a grown up room and not a college dorm room. I mean, most days there’s laundry everywhere and kids sneaking into sleep into our bed in the middle of the night. Overall, it can usually be used as a peaceful place to hide and/or relax. My goal was to make this as much like our happy place as possible. Since we don’t have the beach here, I wanted anything that conjured up those feelings to be included.

The nice thing about this was that in true broke college student fashion, we did this on more of a budget, gradually. Anyway, the biggest challenge, outside of budget and time, was figuring out how in the world to incorporate this chair.

This was a wedding gift my grandparents received (came in a set but the other broke) and at some point my grandma had it reupholstered in this delightful Naugahyde. Not too bad for 70 years old!

In case you’re wondering, yes those are liberty bells on the pattern. It probably wouldn’t have been my first choice but the chair is SUPER comfy and after this long, it’s become part of the family. Also, Naugahyde is legit super resilient. There are few wears or tears on it and it’s been through some stuff for sure!

This is way less appealing to look at, even compared to the Naugahyde!

Even using the chair as a laundry basket didn’t help. I mean, you can’t even enjoy how comfy it is. So, to dampen the exciting pattern, I opted for a pillow and throw that ties all the colors together.

The throw blanket (Amazon) is super soft, as is the pillow (At Home). It’s one of my favorite places to do conference calls – I can hide and be comfy all at the same time!

The other awesome thing we got to add to the room was the clock that my dad made. This was a total surprise actually but was perfect timing. 

#hotmess #foreverdormroom
We opted for a Duvet Set (Amazon) with accent throw pillows and lamps (At Home). The watercolor pictures I did myself with new frames (Hobby Lobby). We painted the nightstands white to match the theme. The headboard is made from flooring glued to a backer board.
Before of the angle facing the bedroom door. The college tag-a-long bookcase made me crazy!
We (meaning me) desperately wanted something to store our books out of sight. I needed to reduce the visual clutter! The cabinet and mirror (Hobby Lobby) were a tidier addition. 
Here are the full before and after pictures. We did get a new dresser a month or so ago that is not pictured. That “dresser” shown was actually the changing table we used for the kids. That, my friends, is the glamorous life of a med school family.

So while I had originally thought of this as a nice get away after busy weeks or weekends, it ended up being really great timing given the excessive amounts of time we spend at home now. So, while things are crazy, at least we have a place of refuge. 

Featured image from Pinterest inspirations.

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

~ Kara Mills ~ 1 Comment
A clock with a story. Made by my dad, Keith.

Back in the early 90’s, I planted one of those annoying little helicopter seeds at our old house on 7th Street. When we moved, I was able to bring that budding tree to our new house. It was planted outside the living room window and over the years, I was able to watch that tree bloom from a sapling to a large, majestic tree. Well, maybe not majestic, but it was pretty awesome to watch it grow from a seed to this large living thing. I remember coming home from college peeking out the window to see if it got any bigger, changed shape, whatever. Silly right? But hey, this was like my first kid. Something I created, nurtured and watched blossom over time. And, it doesn’t talk back! 

In 2017, almost 30 years later, my lovely tree was struck by lightening and had to be cut down. It felt weird being at my parents and seeing this big empty space where my tree once stood. It was a reminder of resiliency and patience. I thought that is was a done deal, gone for ever. Little did I know, my dad had other plans.

In early March, before the world turned into a dumpster fire, I received an unexpected package in the mail. Inside was the clock. My dad had saved the wood. He sliced a large piece of the trunk, sealed it and installed the clock. So the legacy of the tree doesn’t end. Even better, it’s made by my dad and something I can pass along. It really is the gift that keeps on giving.

New Rules

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

We’re in day 5,054 of staying at home. Working from home while undertaking Spanish immersion kindergarten, entertaining a threenager, and reminding middle schoolers that video games do not constitute “technology learning” has been treacherous. I mean, it’s infinitely better than being intubated, but it’s not my lifelong dream.

I went from being a happy working mom who carted her kids to their respective destinations every morning, had a coffee, and adulted. Now, on a good day, I’m wrestling kids out of bed, herding cats kids until distance learning is done and they can join the wild west of activities we have at our house. I’m exhausted at the end of the day and adulting is of no interest. I had to learn to “let it go” (thank you Frozen for reminding me of that every day when it’s playing on repeat).  That song is stuck in your head now right?? Anyway, here are a few items we’ve decided or realized during this period of time.

  • Do you have screen time restrictions? Ha! That’s cute! Nope, there are none. It is survival of the fittest people. Unless you’re a kindergartener with an attitude, then you can be grounded from the iPad until your birthday…in July. Yes, it was that bad that I punished myself too.
  • Will you try potty training the threenager? No. HECK no! Why would I do that to myself?? I mean, if she goes, we celebrate. But I am not about to shadow this 3 year old to make sure she goes potty. I seldom remember to use the bathroom so how am I going to remind her?
  • Are you quarantining from hubs? Nope, so long as we remain healthy. We’re each others support system. He strips his clothes off in the garage and then washes them separately from our clothes. For the record, there have been no instances of him streaking through my conference calls. Yet.
  • Do you like working from home? YES!!! I LOVE it! I’m super productive. I mean, when I don’t have kids hanging on me. Literally. Ariah_ClingingThis work of art can be titled “I want to talk on your conference call” circa pandemic 2020.
  • Are you excited to be saving gas money? Yes, of course! It’s helped fund my new online ordering habit. Specifically Amazon. They have everything you need to get your home office in line. The most critical items have been a second monitor and a seat pad. Kitchen chairs are not meant to be sat on 40+ hours a week. Trust me.

Here’s the deal. I’ve had to turn my Type A off and be okay with just making it through each day. There are way bigger things happening in the world that make my stresses sound trivial. And they are trivial, relatively speaking. We are healthy, we have food and clothes and the kids, while bored, are happy. Once I decided that they will be fine if I am not a perfect parent/teacher/worker 100 percent of the time, life was a lot less stressful. Being a working mom is hard when it’s just work, so give yourself some grace and be okay if things are not perfect. We’re all in this together!

This is Why

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

As the mother of a toddler, not a day goes by where I don’t hear “why?”. Every request is countered with the question, “why?”. Every statement, “why?”. All. The. Time. Of course I get to the point where my only response is “because I said so!” with far too much exasperation in my voice. These last few weeks have made me often wonder “why?”.

For starters, why did the plague hit our house…wait for it…the week of hubs exams?? Because that’s how we roll, that’s why. What fun would exam week be if there was not violent vomiting and explosive diarrhea to share? We’re apparently a loving family, we share everything….even those trifling germs. It hit nana, the toddler, and even hubs (thankfully his was after exams). Then tween 1 went down next, sent home from school merely days after finishing his first ever musical- thank you Jesus for holding that out!

So, that takes us to tween 2. First night parenting solo while hubs is away on a new rotation and he’s got a low grade fever. No biggie right? Get some ibuprofen and lots of water and he’ll be back to new in no time. Well, by 6pm it was clear the fever was lingering and the meds were keeping it at bay. Since asthma is always our first concern with him, I had him sleeping in my room to keep and eye on him. When 10pm rolls around, he’s knocked out, fever is almost nonexistent and I head to bed.

Here’s where it gets crazy. Why did I wake up, out of a dead sleep 2 hours later to check on him?? No noises, he was sound asleep. I felt his head and knew the fever had returned. Upon taking his temp, I knew we had a problem. The first time read 105.0. I couldn’t believe it so it took it again, several times- 103.3, 104.8, 104.4, 105.0. You get the idea. Crazy enough, he woke up, was totally coherent and did not seem phased by the high fever. A trip to the ER, quick triage, and we’re home with a diagnosis of Influenza A.

So, why did I wake up and check on him? Honestly, that’s all God. Some may say a “Mother’s instinct” but I can tell you, this mama was tired and I’m not one to wake and function like that. That was all God.

Why did he not have any side effects from a fever that high? I mean, I would have expected lethargy, confusion or even febrile seizures. Again, that’s God.

Why, with such a severe fever, was his asthma not affected- especially with influenza, which is known to wreak havoc on the respiratory system? If only I could share the crazy roller coaster of a ride we’ve had with his asthma- admits to the hospital, 911 calls, etc.- that would be a memoir on its own. A simple cold has landed him in the hospital for a few days stay. I have 2 reasons: first- you guessed it- God. Second, the flu vaccine. Thank GOD for modern medicine! The vaccine is not meant to prevent influenza, it’s meant to lessenthesymptoms and prevent death from influenza. It worked just as intended with him. I have no doubt that this particular strain could have caused immense turmoil on his lungs. Why do we all get the flu vaccine in our family? Because we want to protect those whose body may not be able to fight against the virus.

Why did I feel it necessary to share all of this info? Because God moved in a way that shook me to my core. He “took the wheel” and allowed me to care for my child. Something about our babies being in distress- whether they know it or not.

So, hug your babies, say a prayer of thanks, and get your flu vaccine! Why? Because I said so! 😉

I’m Not Your Friend

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

After moving to the new neighborhood, there’s been a time period of getting to know the neighbors and the nuances of life here. Everyone is friendly and it’s a quiet area. There are several boys around Aden’s age so he’s having fun making new friends and playing outside. However, I find in most cases, I’m the mean mom. You see, we have a few rules in our household. Maybe this makes me a little cray-cray but whatever. Some of it is dictated by Aden’s allergies (I don’t have him carry his epi-pen yet as I’m pretty sure he would think it was a toy to play with) and other are dictated by the fact that we’ve experienced crazy and are hoping to prevent any repeat incidents.

 

Here are the rules:

 

  • When school has started, you do not play outside until you have your homework done. If you “forgot” your homework at school, you’re out of luck. I bet you’ll remember it next time! And for all of the people freaking out that they “need their exercise”, they play outside all afternoon in their after school program. So they’re all sweaty and stinky by the time I pick them up and have had their share of fresh air.
  • If you’re fortunate enough to play outside after homework, do not keep coming in and out of the house. Unless you’re about to pee your pants, stay outside until you plan on staying inside. If I hear you come in more than once, that’s a wrap. We don’t need a bunch of flies in the house and you certainly do not need to feed the whole neighborhood all of the lunch snacks I have in the pantry. It’s almost dinner time anyway.
  • Speaking of dinner time, when I call you inside for dinner, you better hear me and you better listen the first time. I do not want to be that crazy mom who is running around the neighborhood in my not so nice lounge clothes looking for you. If that happens, consider it being docked in pay and you’re inside the next night. And don’t even ask to go outside after dinner!
  • Don’t ask me 50 times if you can play in Johnny’s house. You have about 1 hour to enjoy and that means enjoy it outside. I don’t know Johnny’s parents like that so, no, you cannot play over there. Heck, I don’t even know what house they live in. Stop asking or you’re coming inside.
  • If you have your homework done, you’ve stayed outside and you came in at dinner and didn’t ever ask to play at Johnny’s house, you may get a chance to go back outside after dinner….if the streetlights are not on. If they are, that’s a night and it’s time to take a shower (because you stink like the outside) and get ready for bed. If you argue, you lose tomorrow night.

 

So, these are the rules we use. Maybe I’m mean, but it’s what fits our family and our kids. So recently, one of the boys came over and asked Aden to play outside. He, knowing the rules, told them he had to finish homework and eat before he could come out. They were a little puzzled by this. Aden, being the child who challenges everything, pressed me about why his friends can do certain things and he cannot. “Because I’m not your friend. I am your mom. My job is to make sure you can follow rules, stay safe, and be respectful. It’s not changing so stop asking.” He rolled his eyes and groaned. My reply: “That’s fine. You can stay in tonight.” Hopefully someday he will learn. And hopefully it’s before he’s an adult when we can actually be more like friends….

Why I Needed New Pajamas

~ Kara Mills ~ 1 Comment

I alluded to the 911 incident in my earlier post about hubs being away for the month of May. Here was what happened….

We drove hubs down to the course facility, about 8 hours away, and made it a fun family weekend. While there, we get an email from the landlord indicating that they will be replacing the roof on our town home the coming week. Of course it’s the first week hubs will be away! The last time roof work was done in our complex was the one and only time a unit was broken into. However, based on the police report and feedback, it was likely a person who knew the family that lived there, just a coincidence that the roofs were being replaced. But, it was still in the back of my mind. Heck, we leave our outside lights on just to help brighten things up and deter any shady activity.

Well, the first day of the roofers working, I was working from home with a sick kid (of course someone is sick while hubs is away right!?). In my many comings and goings throughout the day, I saw a worker walking around with a large bucket picking up debris. he was quite, but always had that bucket. Around 9pm they finished up for the day. I got the boys situated and hopped into bed earlier than I had expected.

At about 1am I heard something on the roof and then I heard something on our porch. I bolted up in bed, heart racing, listening for any sound. I heard a few other little things so I decided to peek out of my bedroom window. On the sidewalk, at the bottom of my porch stairs, was that same bucket carried by the debris guy, sitting upright. My heart was pounding. Is he here on my porch? Why would he be here at 1 in the morning? What do I do? Do I call the police? Do I wait and see if I’m just freaking out for nothing? What if someone is in the house? Do I get the kids before calling the police or after?

So, I called the police. Within about 10 minutes I saw the flashlights outside the window and then the doorbell rang. I confirmed it was the police and opened the door. Apparently, the bucket had been left on the roof, rolled off and had so gracefully landed right side up- making it appear that someone had just set it down. Nice. Well at least I had peace of mind. Oh, and that was also the moment I decided I needed some better pajamas. Worn maternity shorts and an old t-shirt from high school are not the nicest thing to answer the door in. So, I went back to bed (and thankfully slept) and made it my mission the next day to find some better pajamas.

Ode to Single Parents

~ Kara Mills ~ 1 Comment

For the month of May, hubs was out of state for an exam prep course. He was gone for 4 solid weeks. Four solid weeks of just me and the 3 boys: school, work, soccer, repeat. A lot of people were horrified that he was away, often remarking, “What in the world are you going to do!?”. Really, I had it easier than most. My advantage is that I knew ahead of time that he was leaving. There are many moms out there that are thrust into single parenthood without notice. If I don’t plan well, that’s on me!

I’m not saying there were no bumps in the road. We had an incident where I thought the house was being broken into and had to call 911- read about that here. We of course could not go 4 weeks without a sick kid. Seriously, enough with the fevers and ear infections already! And, in the thick of it, I had to travel for 5 days to my annual conference in Las Vegas. It was all a whirlwind. I could not have survived without hubs mom who visited often to help out (i.e. check on my sanity), or my mom who came to stay with the boys while I was gone (I’m pretty sure she will never, ever do that again!).

At the end of the month when I was thinking over everything, I was shocked at how fast it went by and also that I survived! I felt so accomplished! The last time I felt that accomplished was when I pushed a watermelon sized baby out of my body! But, I only did this single thing for a month, I had time to plan, and I had family to help in a pinch. All I could think about  were all the single parents I know that do this every day- many without ever complaining- and they’re kicking butt! I have such respect for those folks. Sure, I can toot my own horn and act all giddy that I made it one whole month without hubs (it was really just by the grace of God that we made it through!), working full time, with 3 boys. But, that was only 1 month. I knew there was an end. I had that to look forward to and keep me in a constant adrenaline rush.

So, to all my single parents, kudos to you for making it happen, all day, every day. I have so much respect for you. And when hubs is in residency and we see him maybe 3 hours a week, I may be coming to all of you for advice!

Bottling Up Moments

~ Kara Mills ~ 2 Comments

I was recently putting Asher to bed thinking about how wonderful it felt to have him melt into me while sleeping. I mean, we were basically glued together by snot and spit, and it was wonderful. It also made me think about how much I missed and probably took those moments for granted with the bigger boys. It feels like a decade ago. Well, it has been a decade! I was thinking about how awesome it would be to bottle up each of those precious moments we have. Capture everything from the smells, sounds, feels and emotions. The feeling of the chubby legs folded over my lap while his warm drooling cheek lays on my shoulder. The smell of baby wipes, Shea butter soap and bag balm (the best alternative for butt cream EVER- seriously, I had someone hug me after a suggestion to try it). All of those senses molded into one bottle that can be opened at a moment’s notice. Maybe when he goes to kindergarten, or graduates high school. Or, gulp, gets married. You know, like in the BFG by Roald Dahl. The BFG had the ability to capture everyone’s dreams and can then use them as needed. How awesome would it be to capture those moments in life that we want to cherish forever? And then when you need a reminder or are feeling emotional, you can open it up and live it all over again. Not just visually or by hearing it, but by feeling it.

As a mom, it’s hard to always remember to embrace every moment. Outside of working away from home, there are so many things that are consuming time when I get home. Dinner, homework, baths, school clothes, laundry, just to name a few. Notice I didn’t even mention cleaning. I suppose that falls in there as well. Everyone always says to embrace the moment, time passes so fast, <insert Hallmark line here>. But, on the flip side, there is this underlying expectation that standards need to be met in order to be a successful mom and feel like you’ve accomplished something. People can see your clean house, taste your good food and evaluate the completed homework. No one may see that you rocked the baby for an extra 20 minutes just to smell their recently washed hair, or told the kiddos a crazy, homemade bed time story before bed. We count everything in minutes of a day. It’s 30 minute to make dinner, 1 hour for homework, 8 hours of work, etc. We don’t necessarily count moments of the day. It’s easy to say that the kids have to go to bed now because I have an hour worth of laundry to fold. But really, what’s an extra 20 minutes to cuddle? You can’t bottle that up, but you sure can the laundry! And I don’t know about you, but I would love to bottle up that laundry and send it away! While I’m not saying live in squalor, I do believe instead of doing things we feel pressured to do, adjust the schedule with things we know will have a greater impact on how we feel about time and those moments that often pass us by.

The point of my bottled up soapbox is that until we can feel less pressure (real or not) about how we’re conducting ourselves as moms, we will not change. I’m so guilty of that. I see magazines that show me how a perfect house looks. How to “really clean” in only 30 minutes a week. Or how to make a healthy meal in only 10 minutes a day. There is a fix for everything, but limited time or resources to implement it. So, instead of saying “oh well” and not stressing over what I had planned on making for dinner, I’m making my 30 minute meal feeling guilty for the extra 20 minutes I could be using elsewhere. I’m sure not everyone feels the pressure from those types of articles. Heck, maybe I’m a glutton for punishment? I too get sucked into the depths of Pinterest on occasion looking for a better solution to dinner ideas, cleaning, school and whatever the stress of the moment is. I’m working on caring less about how things are structured and what others may think about how my house looks or what we’re having for dinner. But, it’s not easy when, based on conversations I’ve had with folks who like to “keep it real”, it appears most people are masquerading about the home front because it’s too embarrassing or too disappointing to admit they had cereal for dinner or had to rewash the items in the washer 3 times before remembering to put it in the dryer. When I hear that, I feel better knowing I’m not the only one. But then wonder too, how many other moms feel that pressure and we’re all too ashamed to say anything? So, while you ponder that, I am going to cuddle my baby!

Band-Aids and Body Wash

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

There are two things that I am learning I need to buy in bulk: Band-Aids and body wash. Maybe I should just buy stock in a few specific companies knowing my family alone could keep them in business. Seriously. I could watch the profits soar.

Band-Aids are a serious matter in our house. We have one kid who truly has to be gushing blood before he puts one on, while the other makes up for all of his brothers combined. No joke, we went through a whole box of Band-Aids in a month. In the winter. Nothing happens in the winter! They’re not outside riding bikes, scraping knees. You have a paper cut? You better get the super, mega, large Band-Aid and put it on so your finger doesn’t fall off. You have a bruise? You definitely need a Band-Aid! You thought you were almost going to hurt your leg? Yup, you need one there too. Don’t get me wrong, there have been some valid injuries, as anyone with boys can understand. But the nonsense with the amount of Band-Aids is getting ridiculous. I spent over $30 at the store buying more because I wanted to make sure we had some around when we really need them. I get it though, as a kid, they’re supposed to make everything better. Even as I write this post, he’s in the bathroom removing a splinter and getting a Band-Aid. Don’t believe me? Ask hubs, he’s our in-resident doctor that is digging it out. He will for sure prescribe him a Band-Aid.

Band-Aids are one thing, but body wash, now that another story. I never thought we would go through body wash the way we do. Bars of soap are not a great option for boys, at least in our house. Think of bars of soap rocket propelling over the shower curtains or being slid around the tub like a Crisco coated bobsled on ice. I had thought providing body soap was like loss prevention at our house. Until I stepped in the shower, in a puddle of soap, and nearly kicked a hole through the wall. Really, sliding around like that at 5am is not the makings for a great day. It was literally half a bottle of soap that I had bought the day before. I think I was more upset that it was almost gone, rather than the fact I nearly broke my back. Even in weeks where the soap wasn’t spilled all over the shower, I couldn’t figure out where in the heck the stuff was going. I mean really, their bodies are a quarter of my size but they use 10 times as much body wash? Am I not washing myself that well? So, I spied. I saw one of the boys dump the body wash in his hand until it was spilling out. And, of course, it inevitably falls out as he begins washing, so he needs more. This was repeated 2 or 3 times. Ahh, that explains it. Now I see why a 20 ounce bottle can be eliminated in a week on a 40 pound child. How silly of me to think otherwise! Well, in an effort to save money so we could send our kids to college, I went on the hunt for a mega size bottle. With a pump. I figured either the bottle would be too heavy to pour, or they would be inclined to use the pump. I found a large bottle that I am happy to say had managed to stay with us for more than 2 months now! That’s totally a record.

It will get to a certain point where our other “well intended” child will like to “help out” by mixing body wash with our shampoo and conditioner. For example, one morning I begin washing my hair with my overpriced salon shampoo and realize, that in addition to the flower and herb smell I was used to, I was smelling peaches with a hint of cologne. Yup, he had mixed my shampoo with their body wash and hubs body wash. His justification was that he was making everything one step for me. I could wash my hair and my body with everything in there. I did get a little worried because I realized that the toilet bowl cleaner was right outside of the shower. He assured me he only used products for the body. I now buy hair products that don’t allow you to take the tops off.

So, the moral of the story: if you have a boy, you may want to stock up on these 2 items now. I’m sure as they get older, there will be something else. Please, share with me what they are so I can plan now. I need to get ahead of the curve!

Weeks In Review: From Puking to #DistractinglySexy

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

In the true spirit of “memoirs”, here are a few that have happened recently. I feel like the adventures that happen daily as a (working) mom can be exhausting when happening all in the same day. Clearly God had mercy on me and all of these things happened over the course of 2 weeks, which I suppose makes it more bearable. Maybe we’re just lucky, or maybe this is normal for you too?? I’m interested to hear…. Continue reading →