Kiddos

This is Why

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

As the mother of a toddler, not a day goes by where I don’t hear “why?”. Every request is countered with the question, “why?”. Every statement, “why?”. All. The. Time. Of course I get to the point where my only response is “because I said so!” with far too much exasperation in my voice. These last few weeks have made me often wonder “why?”.

For starters, why did the plague hit our house…wait for it…the week of hubs exams?? Because that’s how we roll, that’s why. What fun would exam week be if there was not violent vomiting and explosive diarrhea to share? We’re apparently a loving family, we share everything….even those trifling germs. It hit nana, the toddler, and even hubs (thankfully his was after exams). Then tween 1 went down next, sent home from school merely days after finishing his first ever musical- thank you Jesus for holding that out!

So, that takes us to tween 2. First night parenting solo while hubs is away on a new rotation and he’s got a low grade fever. No biggie right? Get some ibuprofen and lots of water and he’ll be back to new in no time. Well, by 6pm it was clear the fever was lingering and the meds were keeping it at bay. Since asthma is always our first concern with him, I had him sleeping in my room to keep and eye on him. When 10pm rolls around, he’s knocked out, fever is almost nonexistent and I head to bed.

Here’s where it gets crazy. Why did I wake up, out of a dead sleep 2 hours later to check on him?? No noises, he was sound asleep. I felt his head and knew the fever had returned. Upon taking his temp, I knew we had a problem. The first time read 105.0. I couldn’t believe it so it took it again, several times- 103.3, 104.8, 104.4, 105.0. You get the idea. Crazy enough, he woke up, was totally coherent and did not seem phased by the high fever. A trip to the ER, quick triage, and we’re home with a diagnosis of Influenza A.

So, why did I wake up and check on him? Honestly, that’s all God. Some may say a “Mother’s instinct” but I can tell you, this mama was tired and I’m not one to wake and function like that. That was all God.

Why did he not have any side effects from a fever that high? I mean, I would have expected lethargy, confusion or even febrile seizures. Again, that’s God.

Why, with such a severe fever, was his asthma not affected- especially with influenza, which is known to wreak havoc on the respiratory system? If only I could share the crazy roller coaster of a ride we’ve had with his asthma- admits to the hospital, 911 calls, etc.- that would be a memoir on its own. A simple cold has landed him in the hospital for a few days stay. I have 2 reasons: first- you guessed it- God. Second, the flu vaccine. Thank GOD for modern medicine! The vaccine is not meant to prevent influenza, it’s meant to lessenthesymptoms and prevent death from influenza. It worked just as intended with him. I have no doubt that this particular strain could have caused immense turmoil on his lungs. Why do we all get the flu vaccine in our family? Because we want to protect those whose body may not be able to fight against the virus.

Why did I feel it necessary to share all of this info? Because God moved in a way that shook me to my core. He “took the wheel” and allowed me to care for my child. Something about our babies being in distress- whether they know it or not.

So, hug your babies, say a prayer of thanks, and get your flu vaccine! Why? Because I said so! šŸ˜‰

Counting Down!

~ Kara Mills ~ 2 Comments

The countdown is on. Only 4 weeks (or likely less) until we welcome baby #4 into the family. This has by far been my toughest pregnancy. Iā€™m not sure if itā€™s because of my ā€œadvanced maternal ageā€ or because itā€™s a girl this time. Either way, itā€™s not been pretty. Aside from the physical challenges Iā€™ve had this time (I feel like Iā€™m perpetually riddled with arthritis, a bum hip, a bad back and the list goes on), my emotions are all over the board. Laughing one minute, crying the next, irritable after that. Hubs is supportive, but at a loss. The boys Iā€™m sure are sick of it. I am proud to say that Iā€™ve at least managed to keep the tears to a minimum at work- or been able to shut my office door! My apologies to all caught in my emotional crossfire.

This time around itā€™s been different, perhaps due to my roller coaster of emotions, but the engagement by others is just not the same. Iā€™m guessing that itā€™s probably my less than cordial, donā€™t touch my belly unless I know you well or youā€™re invited, demeanor? Who knows? But sometimes itā€™s a little sad because I feel like maybe Iā€™m just not as welcoming about receiving questions. I was really feeling bummed about this. I mean, weā€™re having our first girl and I can only shoot daggers at anyone inquiring? That doesnā€™t seem celebratory on my part.

Apparently that only applies to adults. I was recently at Target (sans kids!) picking some items up, one of which was diapers. Iā€™m browsing the diaper aisle, befuddled as usual at the fact that they have every single size of the diaper brand/style I want, except the size I need. Iā€™m digging around the shelf looking in case some got buried. There was a mom also nosing around looking for diapers as well. She had a little baby boy and a pre-school age girl with her. The girl I notice keeps looking at me. I smile at her and go about digging around for diapers. What happened next melted my heart, and I believe horrified her mother.

Girl: ā€œThatā€™s my baby brotherā€, she states his name and points to the little boy in the cart.

Me: ā€œWow, thatā€™s great! I bet you like being a big sister?ā€

Girl: ā€œYes, and I have a bigger sister too.ā€ She gives her name too.

Me: ā€œThatā€™s great. Youā€™re lucky to have a sister and a brother.ā€ Iā€™m amused at this point but also donā€™t want to get too personal because that would be weird and you never know how people will react. I notice she keeps looking at my belly. ā€œI have 3 big boys at home and now there is a baby girl in my belly!ā€

Girl: ā€œI bet she makes noise. Mom I can hear her baby making noise.ā€ At that moment, she skips over to me and places her ear on my belly. ā€œMom, I hear her baby moving!ā€ Her mom is beyond horrified, apologizes, and tells her she needs to always ask permission.

Me: ā€œNot even an issue. In fact, that made my day.ā€ I couldnā€™t stop smiling. I really wanted to be able to reassure the mom as much as possible that it really was okay. But, I get it because I know some people that would not be okay with that. But for me, I loved the innocent enthusiasm. It was a welcome change. So, when I have my ridiculous instants of emotions, I go back to that moment and the joy she had to ā€œhear the babyā€ and am happy I was able to be part of that moment, and that my baby girl could be as well.

Big News!

~ Kara Mills ~ 4 Comments

Iā€™ve been holding off on writing until we had everything confirmed and okay. We are excited to announceā€¦our Baby Girl will be here in February!

The boys are thrilled and hubs and I are both in shock. I really thought our baby factory only made boys, so I was mentally preparing to be the only girl from here on out. We had always wanted 4 kiddos and knew that this was it. Boy or girl, it didnā€™t matter. Imagine my surprise when we found out it was a girl! Speaking of which, did you know that if youā€™re 35 or older, thatā€™s considered to be of ā€œadvanced maternal ageā€? Well, because I have a dusty uterus, I was able to do the blood test at 10 weeks and find out what we were having. I really had a hard time believing it until we saw her lady parts on the ultrasound today (thus the delayed post). So, now Iā€™m convinced (mostly) and preparing to better understand what this whole dynamic will be.

One of the most interesting things that Iā€™ve encountered so far in my pregnancy- aside from the wicked hormonal changes- are all of the comments people have. Here are a few weā€™ve heard- but I would love to hear what others may have been told!

When someone hears that weā€™re having baby #4, these are responses weā€™ve heard:

  • ā€œAre you Catholic?ā€ Because apparently only Catholic people have more than 2.5 children?
  • ā€œWow, was that planned?ā€ Iā€™m not sure when that is ever a good question for anyone. Iā€™m sure itā€™s not your business either way.
  • ā€œHow in the world do you do it?ā€ You mean make the baby or manage the household? Those are 2 very different answers. I refer you to your parents or some knowledgeable adult for the first, and for the managing of the household, LOTS of communication is best.
  • ā€œWhat in the world will you do if itā€™s a boy?ā€ Geez, I donā€™t know. Maybe send him off to be raised by wolves? I mean seriously!? At this point, what is one more boy in this household?? I just would have needed more socks and Band-Aids.
  • ā€œDonā€™t you hope itā€™s a girl?ā€ I canā€™t lie, sure I was hoping it was a girl, but was preparing for a boy (see above comments). But most of all, I wanted a healthy baby. Honestly, I was a little freaked out the first week or two after finding out itā€™s a girl. Itā€™s sounds so different from boys, but Iā€™m sure Iā€™ll figure it out.
  • ā€œWhy would you want another one? Four is a lot.ā€ Well, why do you want 2, or 1, or none? How about we refer to the earlier comment about it not being your business.
  • ā€œHow will you afford 4 kids?ā€ Again, I refer you to the ā€œnot your businessā€ comment. But if you just must know, we donā€™t say yes to everything and we try our best to live below our means. Which, while in medical school, means we donā€™t get to do super fun stuff all the time. Itā€™s OKAY to say no!

There have been more, these are just a few of the common questions Iā€™ve had. Apparently 4 kids is a tipping point in todayā€™s society. Either way, weā€™re not letting anyone rain on our parade- I can just write about it and move on. Fingers are crossed and weā€™re praying that when the time comes for her to arrive, hubs will be at least able to get away from his rotation to be there in time. That just may be a fun blog post too!

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I’m Not Your Friend

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

After moving to the new neighborhood, there’s been a time period of getting to know the neighbors and the nuances of life here. Everyone is friendly and itā€™s a quiet area. There are several boys around Adenā€™s age so heā€™s having fun making new friends and playing outside. However, I find in most cases, Iā€™m the mean mom. You see, we have a few rules in our household. Maybe this makes me a little cray-cray but whatever. Some of it is dictated by Adenā€™s allergies (I donā€™t have him carry his epi-pen yet as Iā€™m pretty sure he would think it was a toy to play with) and other are dictated by the fact that weā€™ve experienced crazy and are hoping to prevent any repeat incidents.

 

Here are the rules:

 

  • When school has started, you do not play outside until you have your homework done. If you ā€œforgotā€ your homework at school, youā€™re out of luck. I bet youā€™ll remember it next time! And for all of the people freaking out that they ā€œneed their exerciseā€, they play outside all afternoon in their after school program. So theyā€™re all sweaty and stinky by the time I pick them up and have had their share of fresh air.
  • If youā€™re fortunate enough to play outside after homework, do not keep coming in and out of the house. Unless youā€™re about to pee your pants, stay outside until you plan on staying inside. If I hear you come in more than once, thatā€™s a wrap. We donā€™t need a bunch of flies in the house and you certainly do not need to feed the whole neighborhood all of the lunch snacks I have in the pantry. Itā€™s almost dinner time anyway.
  • Speaking of dinner time, when I call you inside for dinner, you better hear me and you better listen the first time. I do not want to be that crazy mom who is running around the neighborhood in my not so nice lounge clothes looking for you. If that happens, consider it being docked in pay and youā€™re inside the next night. And donā€™t even ask to go outside after dinner!
  • Donā€™t ask me 50 times if you can play in Johnnyā€™s house. You have about 1 hour to enjoy and that means enjoy it outside. I donā€™t know Johnnyā€™s parents like that so, no, you cannot play over there. Heck, I donā€™t even know what house they live in. Stop asking or youā€™re coming inside.
  • If you have your homework done, youā€™ve stayed outside and you came in at dinner and didnā€™t ever ask to play at Johnnyā€™s house, you may get a chance to go back outside after dinnerā€¦.if the streetlights are not on. If they are, thatā€™s a night and itā€™s time to take a shower (because you stink like the outside) and get ready for bed. If you argue, you lose tomorrow night.

 

So, these are the rules we use. Maybe Iā€™m mean, but itā€™s what fits our family and our kids. So recently, one of the boys came over and asked Aden to play outside. He, knowing the rules, told them he had to finish homework and eat before he could come out. They were a little puzzled by this. Aden, being the child who challenges everything, pressed me about why his friends can do certain things and he cannot. ā€œBecause Iā€™m not your friend. I am your mom. My job is to make sure you can follow rules, stay safe, and be respectful. Itā€™s not changing so stop asking.ā€ He rolled his eyes and groaned. My reply: ā€œThatā€™s fine. You can stay in tonight.ā€ Hopefully someday he will learn. And hopefully itā€™s before heā€™s an adult when we can actually be more like friendsā€¦.

Ode to Single Parents

~ Kara Mills ~ 1 Comment

For the month of May, hubs was out of state for an exam prep course. He was gone for 4 solid weeks. Four solid weeks of just me and the 3 boys: school, work, soccer, repeat. A lot of people were horrified that he was away, often remarking, ā€œWhat in the world are you going to do!?ā€. Really, I had it easier than most. My advantage is that I knew ahead of time that he was leaving. There are many moms out there that are thrust into single parenthood without notice. If I donā€™t plan well, thatā€™s on me!

Iā€™m not saying there were no bumps in the road. We had an incident where I thought the house was being broken into and had to call 911- read about that here. We of course could not go 4 weeks without a sick kid. Seriously, enough with the fevers and ear infections already! And, in the thick of it, I had to travel for 5 days to my annual conference in Las Vegas. It was all a whirlwind. I could not have survived without hubs mom who visited often to help out (i.e. check on my sanity), or my mom who came to stay with the boys while I was gone (Iā€™m pretty sure she will never, ever do that again!).

At the end of the month when I was thinking over everything, I was shocked at how fast it went by and also that I survived! I felt so accomplished! The last time I felt that accomplished was when I pushed a watermelon sized baby out of my body! But, I only did this single thing for a month, I had time to plan, and I had family to help in a pinch. All I could think aboutĀ  were all the single parents I know that do this every day- many without ever complaining- and theyā€™re kicking butt! I have such respect for those folks. Sure, I can toot my own horn and act all giddyĀ that I made it one whole month without hubs (it was really just by the grace of God that we made it through!), working full time, with 3 boys. But, that was only 1 month. I knew there was an end. I had that to look forward to and keep me in a constant adrenaline rush.

So, to all my single parents, kudos to you for making it happen, all day, every day. I have so much respect for you. And when hubs is in residency and we see him maybe 3 hours a week, I may be coming to all of you for advice!

Bottling Up Moments

~ Kara Mills ~ 2 Comments

I was recently putting Asher to bed thinking about how wonderful it felt to have him melt into me while sleeping. I mean, we were basically glued together by snot and spit, and it was wonderful. It also made me think about how much I missed and probably took those moments for granted with the bigger boys. It feels like a decade ago. Well, it has been a decade! I was thinking about how awesome it would be to bottle up each of those precious moments we have. Capture everything from the smells, sounds, feels and emotions. The feeling of the chubby legs folded over my lap while his warm drooling cheek lays on my shoulder. The smell of baby wipes, Shea butter soap and bag balm (the best alternative for butt cream EVER- seriously, I had someone hug me after a suggestion to try it). All of those senses molded into one bottle that can be opened at a momentā€™s notice. Maybe when he goes to kindergarten, or graduates high school. Or, gulp, gets married. You know, like in the BFG by Roald Dahl. The BFG had the ability to capture everyoneā€™s dreams and can then use them as needed. How awesome would it be to capture those moments in life that we want to cherish forever? And then when you need a reminder or are feeling emotional, you can open it up and live it all over again. Not just visually or by hearing it, but by feeling it.

As a mom, itā€™s hard to always remember to embrace every moment. Outside of working away from home, there are so many things that are consuming time when I get home. Dinner, homework, baths, school clothes, laundry, just to name a few. Notice I didnā€™t even mention cleaning. I suppose that falls in there as well. Everyone always says to embrace the moment, time passes so fast, <insert Hallmark line here>. But, on the flip side, there is this underlying expectation that standards need to be met in order to be a successful mom and feel like youā€™ve accomplished something. People can see your clean house, taste your good food and evaluate the completed homework. No one may see that you rocked the baby for an extra 20 minutes just to smell their recently washed hair, or told the kiddos a crazy, homemade bed time story before bed. We count everything in minutes of a day. Itā€™s 30 minute to make dinner, 1 hour for homework, 8 hours of work, etc. We donā€™t necessarily count moments of the day. Itā€™s easy to say that the kids have to go to bed now because I have an hour worth of laundry to fold. But really, whatā€™s an extra 20 minutes to cuddle? You canā€™t bottle that up, but you sure can the laundry! And I donā€™t know about you, but I would love to bottle up that laundry and send it away! While Iā€™m not saying live in squalor, I do believe instead of doing things we feel pressured to do, adjust the schedule with things we know will have a greater impact on how we feel about time and those moments that often pass us by.

The point of my bottled up soapbox is that until we can feel less pressure (real or not) about how weā€™re conducting ourselves as moms, we will not change. Iā€™m so guilty of that. I see magazines that show me how a perfect house looks. How to ā€œreally cleanā€ in only 30 minutes a week. Or how to make a healthy meal in only 10 minutes a day. There is a fix for everything, but limited time or resources to implement it. So, instead of saying ā€œoh wellā€ and not stressing over what I had planned on making for dinner, Iā€™m making my 30 minute meal feeling guilty for the extra 20 minutes I could be using elsewhere. Iā€™m sure not everyone feels the pressure from those types of articles. Heck, maybe Iā€™m a glutton for punishment? I too get sucked into the depths of Pinterest on occasion looking for a better solution to dinner ideas, cleaning, school and whatever the stress of the moment is. Iā€™m working on caring less about how things are structured and what others may think about how my house looks or what weā€™re having for dinner. But, itā€™s not easy when, based on conversations Iā€™ve had with folks who like to ā€œkeep it realā€, it appears most people are masquerading about the home front because itā€™s too embarrassing or too disappointing to admit they had cereal for dinner or had to rewash the items in the washer 3 times before remembering to put it in the dryer. When I hear that, I feel better knowing Iā€™m not the only one. But then wonder too, how many other moms feel that pressure and weā€™re all too ashamed to say anything? So, while you ponder that, I am going to cuddle my baby!

Hammering the Walls

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

Hereā€™s a Friday funny for you. A few weeks ago I was working from home during the middle of the week and hubs was in and out of the house for meetings and appointments. As I was sitting in the living room, I heard some thumping coming from our neighbors place. So, I smiled and mentioned to hubs that it sounded like there was some fun being had next door. He told me to get my head out of the gutter, itā€™s probably not that!

Well, last week when I was traveling, hubs was running around getting the boys situated and realized that Aden was bouncing a ball off of the wall repeatedly. He scolded him and said to stop bouncing it on the wall and have respect for the neighbors. Adenā€™s reply, ā€œWell, they donā€™t have respect for us because I hear them hammering the walls EVERY night!ā€. So, after a sheepish correction, hubs admitted that I was probably right in what I had heard a few weeks ago. I can only believe that Aden is imagining their wall covered in picture frames. Why else would you be hammering all the time?

Happy weekend!

A Very Special Blanket

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

I love blankets. I kind of feel like you can never have enough of them. Well, unless you have limited storage space like we do. But really, who doesnā€™t love a great blanket to snuggle under?! The big boys have a variety of blankets they have been gifted over the years so when I was pregnant with Asher I made it a point to get at least 1 blanket that was ā€œjust hisā€. It wasnā€™t a hand-me-down like most everything else he has. For one of my showers, a dear friend got Asher a blanket as well. This was not just any blanket, it had characters on it. Now, some people know that I am not a fan of character covered anything. Itā€™s just not my thing. So, when I first peeked a glimpse of the blanket I was a little worried. Please donā€™t let it be one of those newer, creepy cartoon characters. You know, the ones that are on TV now that are so different from the Saturday morning cartoons we used to watch. Anyway, I saw that it was a Toy Story blanket, one of Hubā€™s favorite Disney movies. I guess it canā€™t be that bad right? I pulled the blanket out and it was a big double lined fleece blanket with Toy Story characters and soft fringe. It even had Asherā€™s initials in the corner. ADORABLE! Gasp! Was I really liking a character blanket?? I guess this third baby was making me soft!

Fast forward about a year and weā€™ve begun using it regularly in Asherā€™s playpen (you know how you canā€™t have blankets within 10 feet of a baby while theyā€™re sleeping so we waited to use the big blankets until then). When we were packing for our trip to Michigan over Christmas, I thought it would be the perfect blanket to bring along. Itā€™s big and cozy and he really seemed to be loving it. I also brought 2 of his other favorite blankets hoping to make his “mobile” sleeping experience a little better.

About half way through our trip, on our way to my parentā€™s house, we encountered some pretty nasty weather. It was cold, so cold that the buckle on the car top luggage carrier broke clean off and we had to CRAM everything in the back of the car. As I was driving, we noticed that traffic suddenly slowed down. We were in the far left lane and just up ahead there was a car that had crashed so hard into the concrete median that is was propped up at an angle. Just beyond that was another car that also appeared to have crashed and itā€™s front bumper was on the ground. There was a lady standing near the propped up car but there were no emergency vehicles there yet. As we begun to pass the second car, we realized that what we thought was a bumper on the ground was actually a woman lying in the snow on the shoulder of the road. I pulled over and hubs jumped out to go check on her. The boys, of course alarmed by seeing what they thought was a dead body on the side of the road, began praying for her. We prayed for the people in the accident, those who were helping and those on their way. A few moments later hubs came running back looking to see if we had any blankets available to cover her up. She was likely okay- probably just in shock. They didnā€™t want to move her but it was too cold to keep her uncovered. All we had were Asherā€™s 3 favorite blankets. So, without much thought, we dug them out of the back of the car (I literally had some of our luggage sitting on the side of I-94 trying to find things) and he took them back over to cover her up. When I got back in the car, I was torn. Do I just say keep the blankets? The other 2 blankets were hand-me-downs and although he loved them, he really loved the Toy Story blanket. And it has his initials on it. But do I sound like a selfish jerk asking for that back? And then I realize I sound even more of an idiot because Iā€™m worried about that while this lady is laying on the side of the road in the snow. After a bit, the police showed up, got Hubs statement, and then sent him on his way. He got back in the car and said that he told them to keep the blankets. Without any forethought to my words, I told him we needed the Toy Story one back. It has his initials, it was a gift, and he loves it. So, because heā€™s wonderful, he went back and got the blanket (they were getting her into the ambulance by then so she was no longer using the blankets). So, after a good washing at my momā€™s house, he was able to snuggle back up with his blanket. Heā€™s been using that at bed ever since.

It wasnā€™t until earlier last week I realized how much he loves that blanket though. I had it in the laundry and was washing it for the second time because I had let it sit in the washer too long. Anyone else do that? I finally had it in the dryer when I was putting Asher to bed. I grabbed another fleece blanket and tucked him in. He was not interested in going to bed, which is weird because he basically puts himself to bed every night. He literally takes us to his room, has us rock him, and then points to his crib when heā€™s ready to go to sleep. So for him to be fussy was unusual. I figured that the easy bedtime was a phase and he would have to cry it out. Well, over 30 minutes later, he was still crying. The dryer finished and I took the blanket in there as a last ditch effort to get him to sleep. As soon as he saw it, he smiled, danced and grabbed for it. He immediately laid down and fell asleep. SERIOUSLY!

That is when I was SO thankful that Hubs went back and got that blanket. This amazing blanket is not only Asherā€™s favorite, it has some fun stories and meaning behind it. It was a very thoughtful gift, personalized to him, and also helped someone in a time of need. I like to think that if that blanket could help a stranger in their moment of distress, it can certainly comfort Asher, and it does every night.

 

Earning My Cape

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

Itā€™s not often that I can say Iā€™ve had a ā€œsuper momā€ moment. Actually, there are seldom times like that because I feel when I do have moments that seem that Iā€™ve accomplished something, itā€™s part of the expected duties as a mom, so it really doesnā€™t count as anything. However, I recently had a moment where I earned that infamous “super mom cape”.

I was in Puerto Rico for work (tough life right?). Hubs and I had figured out all of the miscellaneous details of kids, schedules, school, etc. and I knew it was going to be just fine. Because weā€™re working from about 6am to 10pm daily, there is not a lot of time to do much of anything else. This means that if I have a moment to talk to hubs and the kids, Iā€™m asking them how their day was, instead of reminding them of everything. Well, it just so happens there was a field trip on the Friday I was gone. It was an ā€œin schoolā€ field trip. I suppose both hubs and I didnā€™t think much of it since it was in school and it was one day of the week when Elijah would actually eat whatever was on the hot lunch menu. I neglected to remember that for in school field trips you need to bring a lunch because you do not eat at the time hot lunch is served. Oops.

Well, that morning I got a call from Elijah, concerned because he didnā€™t have a lunch for the day. He remembered that I had signed him up for the event and thought maybe I had something figured out for his lunch. Um yeah, hot lunch. Well, hubs was over an hour away from the school and I clearly was not able to get there anytime soon. After some back and forth calls and texts with hubs, I had the Jimmy Johnā€™s website queued up and ready to deliver a sandwich for lunch time. However, I didnā€™t want to be the mom that had food delivered for her kid and the PTA protest me for giving him processed food- or something like that. I asked to speak to his teacher just to make sure it would be okay. I explained that I was out of the state traveling and hubs was at class and we had gotten our wires crossed. She assured me that it would be fine to have food delivered, but the cafeteria can also provide him a bag lunch. What?! You mean I didnā€™t have to order the freaky fast subs after all? Sweet! So, by the end of the day, Elijah had a lunch, hubs was (relatively) uninterrupted in his class and all of that was done while I was on a break from the general session, in Puerto Rico. Best of all, we all got a good laugh out of it. Well maybe not Elijah. They gave him a PB&J (he hates peanut butter). But, better than not eating right? So, all in all, not too bad if you ask me.

The Talk

~ Kara Mills ~ 2 Comments

Well, it was bound to happen at some point. Elijah is in fourth grade and I know that they will begin talking about puberty and all of those things that made us blush when we were that age. Weā€™ve always taken a very honest approach with the boys. Meaning, that we would always tell the (age appropriate) truth when they asked questions. When I became pregnant with Asher, there was obviously some interesting discussions. Aden for a long time thought that people got pregnant when they got ā€œmarriedā€. So, according to the reproductive guidelines from Aden, hubs and I have been ā€œmarriedā€ 3 times. We left that alone for the moment.

Tonight was a different story. On our way home from Elijah’s Lego League practice (more info to come on that later), we began talking about bodily fluids that carry disease. Now, I wonā€™t go into great detail on this post- although Iā€™m sure youā€™re wondering how in the world we got onto that subject. Letā€™s just say, when you put enough elementary school kids together, there is bound to be at least one kid who picks their noseā€¦.and eats it. Like caviar.

Sorry, I had to puke in my mouth for a second. Anyway, I was explaining to Elijah that you canā€™t just go around sharing finger foods (popcorn, pretzels, chips, etc.) with everyone because itā€™s a concentrated germ factory in there. Honestly, I may not have been so passionate about it had I not seen the nasal caviar incident, but now, itā€™s totally on my radar. So, as I was explaining this, he asks me why boogers are a bio-hazard. I explain that there are a number of virusā€™ and bacteria that are carried in there. He then asks why blood is a bio-hazard. I begin explaining that there are virusā€™ that can be transferred through blood or bodily fluids that can be harmful to people. Did you catch that? I said bodily fluids. Yeah, I didnā€™t catch that either, until he asked me what I meant by that. Crap. I wasnā€™t really prepared to have this discussion on the car ride home from Lego League, while Iā€™m super tired too. So, I thought that if I ask him some questions, maybe I can get an idea of where he is in his understanding and then carefully select how to respond- and then hubs and I can address it with him later on in more detail. Here was the conversation.

Me: “Well Elijah, what do you really know about how a baby is made?”

Elijah: “Yes, God puts the baby in the moms belly and it grows.”

Me: “Yes, I suppose thatā€™s right on a grander scale, but what happens with the mom and dad?”

Elijah: ā€œOh yeah, that. Well, the dad uses his jelly beans and puts a molecule in the mom and it grows into a baby. When it gets a little bigger, the genetic profile is created to say if itā€™s a boy or a girl.ā€

Me: (smiling) ā€œYup, thatā€™s pretty much it. The bodily fluids are the fluids that help that molecule get into the mom, which is how disease can be spread.ā€

Elijah: ā€œOoohhh, that makes sense!ā€

So, maybe not my best response (remember, I was REALLY tired), but in the end, he seems to have understood what I was trying to say. And, my greater hope, is that he will think twice before sharing finger foods with everyone!