Lean In

To Post…?

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

I’ve been milling over a few ideas for writing lately. My passion and reason for starting the blog in the first place is to have an outlet for my struggles as a working mom and to hear from other working moms. What works, what doesn’t? What silly things happen that we can share and laugh about (maybe not right, away but hopefully someday!)?

One thing I’ve seen a lot in the news lately, aside from raunchy politics, are stories about women “leaning in”, maternity leave, and imbalance in the workplace. These are not new topics. I think we beat it like a dead horse expecting things to get better, but the definition of insanity applies here. If we don’t change the discussion, how do we expect things to change? I actually wrote a post and, as sorry as it sounds, I’m a little scare to publish it. What if I’m the only one feeling or experiencing these things? I’m sure I’m not, after all, it’s on the news all the time. But I’m curious to hear what you’ve experienced in your career growth. In my post, I only touch the tip of the iceberg regarding maternity leave, career growth and the struggle of balancing working and home. I was hoping to gather examples or thoughts from readers to compile a more comprehensive post and ignite a discussion regarding these topics. Yes, these can be very passionate discussions, but I think it’s time to start another thread- and perhaps in a more unconventional way. I want to hear from everyone- not just working moms. Both SAHM’s and dads, give feedback and thoughts too. I want to know what people are experiencing in regards to maternity leave and growing in your career. What is the craziest thing someone has ever said to you in regards to your gender? What is the perception you’ve seen in your career as a working mom? Has it gotten better or worse?

With your permission, I will take the feedback and finalize the blog post and get the discussion going. If you want it used anonymously, feel free to message me your comment. This might be a small start, but any little piece can help to move the discussion forward. If not for our generation, then hopefully for our children. Ready, set, go!

Why I Work- A Soapbox

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

It’s been crazy busy lately- thus the no posting for almost a month. But, it’s about time I got on my soapbox, so bear with me. I have chosen to work, have a career, whatever you want to call it, for 3 reasons.

1) I’ve often talked about work serving as a creative outlet for me. I love what I do so it’s not just “work”, but also something I enjoy, and that I’m good at.

2) It’s time away from our home routine that allows me to recharge.

3) It’s also the challenge of working through the red tape, politics, and silly little situations that keeps me challenged. It also makes me a little crazy sometimes, but isn’t that part of a good challenge??

Continue reading →

Reevaluating

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

Lately, I’ve been at an interesting point in my career. I’ve been in my field for over 10 years and am lucky enough to be doing what I love. I would have never, in a million years, thought that I would be working in the restaurant industry, that’s for sure. However, there is still so much more I would like to do. I’m thankful enough that I can also talk openly about my aspirations with my boss and others at my job, so I don’t feel like I’ve hit any type of “ceiling”. The more challenging part is figuring out that work-life balance. Basically, a load of crap if you ask me. When I look at all of the items on our family’s plate, leaning in feels more like falling on my face. With hubs in med school, I’m working full time and then 3 kids all over the place it doesn’t seem possible to do more. That is, if I were on my own. I sometimes discount hubs (sorry babe!).

I was talking with hubs and explaining how I had ideas of a few things I would like to do, but I knew that it would take more time on my end at work. Meaning, we would have to work together on our schedule. Honestly, I had almost expected the response to be maybe I should hold off for a while until he is done and then I’ll focus on my stuff. Instead, he said, “We’ll figure it out. We will plan ahead, accordingly as needed”. And that was that. It was genuine and absolutely final.

If only work life balance were that easy right? Fast forward a couple of weeks and we’re, yet again, battling a bad virus that is spreading through our house, despite my never ending bleaching and cleaning. So, just as I’m thinking that maybe this might be easier than I thought, everyone starts getting sick and hubs has some mandatory school stuff. That means that I am the on-call parent this week, which is the case most weeks with his crazy schedule. It doesn’t seem like balance can be part of the vocabulary at that point. Of course, it’s always a little difficult to see the sunshine through the Lysol haze. After a few moments of deep breathing (away from the fumes of course) I was reminded of what a co-worker had told me. Balance is not always even all the time. It’s a give and take process. Some weeks will be 90% home and 10% work and others will be the opposite. It’s finding the right balance of a percentage, to make both places not fall apart, that makes it a good work-life balance. So, while this week may seem chaotic, the next several could be back to normal and totally manageable. Plus, having a spouse who is a PARTNER in the relationship and who encourages me, makes all the difference in the world.

Can You Have It All?

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

Can you have it ALL? This topic can provoke some pretty intense feelings and certainly some very strong opinions. The timeless debate of whether a mom should work or not. And, if you do- can you have it all? Now, I’m not saying that Stay At Home Mom’s (SAHM) don’t work. Anyone who has children knows that is rewarding but exhausting work. I’m talking about if a woman CAN or SHOULD work if she has kids- is it possible to have both? Continue reading →

The Med School Process – From the Wife’s Perspective

~ Kara Mills ~ 7 Comments

So, by now you know that hubs is in medical school. As of last week, we’ve he has survived his first semester! This might not sound like a big deal to most, but med school is part of why I started blogging. You see, when he was going through the long, tiring process of taking classes and applying for med school, I had looked all over for websites, blogs or whatever I could find to guide us through it. Most blogs were outdated. I could only attribute it to the fact they must have made it and no longer had a need to blog about med school right? I wanted to better understand the process and how I, as the working spouse, could properly support hubs while he was going through. I decided that when he started med school, I would use this as a creative outlet, as well as hopefully an outlet for other spouses/significant others of med students. Or those considering med school. Continue reading →

Business Travel

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

It was inevitable that at some point after having our third baby I would have to face that first business trip away. I had to do it with the other 2 and it was always fine. That was before hubs was a medical student though. Now, in addition to med school, he has 3 drop offs, pick ups, lunches…oh and the first snow storm of the season to complicate matters a little more. I think today it would be safe to say he’s happy he has Jesus- and a car with decent tires!

So, as I was packing, I had a moment where I felt like super mom. I packed the boys lunches for the 2 days, picked clothes out for both days, and even ran to Walmart later at night to get boots for the boys for the impending snow storm (that could have been a blog post in itself!). I even tried on several outfits to find the best one for my first trip away- and of course the one that can mask the baby fat the best! By the time I laid down to go to bed, I felt like I had conquered the world. I laughed and told hubs that I should probably do that every night- or every Sunday- to prepare ahead and save myself a headache every morning but that would be WAY too organized.

So, fast forward to the morning I leave. I have a “hangover” of success from completing virtually everything I had hoped to complete. Continue reading →