Author: Kara Mills

Why I Needed New Pajamas

~ Kara Mills ~ 1 Comment

I alluded to the 911 incident in my earlier post about hubs being away for the month of May. Here was what happened….

We drove hubs down to the course facility, about 8 hours away, and made it a fun family weekend. While there, we get an email from the landlord indicating that they will be replacing the roof on our town home the coming week. Of course it’s the first week hubs will be away! The last time roof work was done in our complex was the one and only time a unit was broken into. However, based on the police report and feedback, it was likely a person who knew the family that lived there, just a coincidence that the roofs were being replaced. But, it was still in the back of my mind. Heck, we leave our outside lights on just to help brighten things up and deter any shady activity.

Well, the first day of the roofers working, I was working from home with a sick kid (of course someone is sick while hubs is away right!?). In my many comings and goings throughout the day, I saw a worker walking around with a large bucket picking up debris. he was quite, but always had that bucket. Around 9pm they finished up for the day. I got the boys situated and hopped into bed earlier than I had expected.

At about 1am I heard something on the roof and then I heard something on our porch. I bolted up in bed, heart racing, listening for any sound. I heard a few other little things so I decided to peek out of my bedroom window. On the sidewalk, at the bottom of my porch stairs, was that same bucket carried by the debris guy, sitting upright. My heart was pounding. Is he here on my porch? Why would he be here at 1 in the morning? What do I do? Do I call the police? Do I wait and see if I’m just freaking out for nothing? What if someone is in the house? Do I get the kids before calling the police or after?

So, I called the police. Within about 10 minutes I saw the flashlights outside the window and then the doorbell rang. I confirmed it was the police and opened the door. Apparently, the bucket had been left on the roof, rolled off and had so gracefully landed right side up- making it appear that someone had just set it down. Nice. Well at least I had peace of mind. Oh, and that was also the moment I decided I needed some better pajamas. Worn maternity shorts and an old t-shirt from high school are not the nicest thing to answer the door in. So, I went back to bed (and thankfully slept) and made it my mission the next day to find some better pajamas.

Ode to Single Parents

~ Kara Mills ~ 1 Comment

For the month of May, hubs was out of state for an exam prep course. He was gone for 4 solid weeks. Four solid weeks of just me and the 3 boys: school, work, soccer, repeat. A lot of people were horrified that he was away, often remarking, “What in the world are you going to do!?”. Really, I had it easier than most. My advantage is that I knew ahead of time that he was leaving. There are many moms out there that are thrust into single parenthood without notice. If I don’t plan well, that’s on me!

I’m not saying there were no bumps in the road. We had an incident where I thought the house was being broken into and had to call 911- read about that here. We of course could not go 4 weeks without a sick kid. Seriously, enough with the fevers and ear infections already! And, in the thick of it, I had to travel for 5 days to my annual conference in Las Vegas. It was all a whirlwind. I could not have survived without hubs mom who visited often to help out (i.e. check on my sanity), or my mom who came to stay with the boys while I was gone (I’m pretty sure she will never, ever do that again!).

At the end of the month when I was thinking over everything, I was shocked at how fast it went by and also that I survived! I felt so accomplished! The last time I felt that accomplished was when I pushed a watermelon sized baby out of my body! But, I only did this single thing for a month, I had time to plan, and I had family to help in a pinch. All I could think about  were all the single parents I know that do this every day- many without ever complaining- and they’re kicking butt! I have such respect for those folks. Sure, I can toot my own horn and act all giddy that I made it one whole month without hubs (it was really just by the grace of God that we made it through!), working full time, with 3 boys. But, that was only 1 month. I knew there was an end. I had that to look forward to and keep me in a constant adrenaline rush.

So, to all my single parents, kudos to you for making it happen, all day, every day. I have so much respect for you. And when hubs is in residency and we see him maybe 3 hours a week, I may be coming to all of you for advice!

Bottling Up Moments

~ Kara Mills ~ 2 Comments

I was recently putting Asher to bed thinking about how wonderful it felt to have him melt into me while sleeping. I mean, we were basically glued together by snot and spit, and it was wonderful. It also made me think about how much I missed and probably took those moments for granted with the bigger boys. It feels like a decade ago. Well, it has been a decade! I was thinking about how awesome it would be to bottle up each of those precious moments we have. Capture everything from the smells, sounds, feels and emotions. The feeling of the chubby legs folded over my lap while his warm drooling cheek lays on my shoulder. The smell of baby wipes, Shea butter soap and bag balm (the best alternative for butt cream EVER- seriously, I had someone hug me after a suggestion to try it). All of those senses molded into one bottle that can be opened at a moment’s notice. Maybe when he goes to kindergarten, or graduates high school. Or, gulp, gets married. You know, like in the BFG by Roald Dahl. The BFG had the ability to capture everyone’s dreams and can then use them as needed. How awesome would it be to capture those moments in life that we want to cherish forever? And then when you need a reminder or are feeling emotional, you can open it up and live it all over again. Not just visually or by hearing it, but by feeling it.

As a mom, it’s hard to always remember to embrace every moment. Outside of working away from home, there are so many things that are consuming time when I get home. Dinner, homework, baths, school clothes, laundry, just to name a few. Notice I didn’t even mention cleaning. I suppose that falls in there as well. Everyone always says to embrace the moment, time passes so fast, <insert Hallmark line here>. But, on the flip side, there is this underlying expectation that standards need to be met in order to be a successful mom and feel like you’ve accomplished something. People can see your clean house, taste your good food and evaluate the completed homework. No one may see that you rocked the baby for an extra 20 minutes just to smell their recently washed hair, or told the kiddos a crazy, homemade bed time story before bed. We count everything in minutes of a day. It’s 30 minute to make dinner, 1 hour for homework, 8 hours of work, etc. We don’t necessarily count moments of the day. It’s easy to say that the kids have to go to bed now because I have an hour worth of laundry to fold. But really, what’s an extra 20 minutes to cuddle? You can’t bottle that up, but you sure can the laundry! And I don’t know about you, but I would love to bottle up that laundry and send it away! While I’m not saying live in squalor, I do believe instead of doing things we feel pressured to do, adjust the schedule with things we know will have a greater impact on how we feel about time and those moments that often pass us by.

The point of my bottled up soapbox is that until we can feel less pressure (real or not) about how we’re conducting ourselves as moms, we will not change. I’m so guilty of that. I see magazines that show me how a perfect house looks. How to “really clean” in only 30 minutes a week. Or how to make a healthy meal in only 10 minutes a day. There is a fix for everything, but limited time or resources to implement it. So, instead of saying “oh well” and not stressing over what I had planned on making for dinner, I’m making my 30 minute meal feeling guilty for the extra 20 minutes I could be using elsewhere. I’m sure not everyone feels the pressure from those types of articles. Heck, maybe I’m a glutton for punishment? I too get sucked into the depths of Pinterest on occasion looking for a better solution to dinner ideas, cleaning, school and whatever the stress of the moment is. I’m working on caring less about how things are structured and what others may think about how my house looks or what we’re having for dinner. But, it’s not easy when, based on conversations I’ve had with folks who like to “keep it real”, it appears most people are masquerading about the home front because it’s too embarrassing or too disappointing to admit they had cereal for dinner or had to rewash the items in the washer 3 times before remembering to put it in the dryer. When I hear that, I feel better knowing I’m not the only one. But then wonder too, how many other moms feel that pressure and we’re all too ashamed to say anything? So, while you ponder that, I am going to cuddle my baby!

Hammering the Walls

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

Here’s a Friday funny for you. A few weeks ago I was working from home during the middle of the week and hubs was in and out of the house for meetings and appointments. As I was sitting in the living room, I heard some thumping coming from our neighbors place. So, I smiled and mentioned to hubs that it sounded like there was some fun being had next door. He told me to get my head out of the gutter, it’s probably not that!

Well, last week when I was traveling, hubs was running around getting the boys situated and realized that Aden was bouncing a ball off of the wall repeatedly. He scolded him and said to stop bouncing it on the wall and have respect for the neighbors. Aden’s reply, “Well, they don’t have respect for us because I hear them hammering the walls EVERY night!”. So, after a sheepish correction, hubs admitted that I was probably right in what I had heard a few weeks ago. I can only believe that Aden is imagining their wall covered in picture frames. Why else would you be hammering all the time?

Happy weekend!

To Post…?

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

I’ve been milling over a few ideas for writing lately. My passion and reason for starting the blog in the first place is to have an outlet for my struggles as a working mom and to hear from other working moms. What works, what doesn’t? What silly things happen that we can share and laugh about (maybe not right, away but hopefully someday!)?

One thing I’ve seen a lot in the news lately, aside from raunchy politics, are stories about women “leaning in”, maternity leave, and imbalance in the workplace. These are not new topics. I think we beat it like a dead horse expecting things to get better, but the definition of insanity applies here. If we don’t change the discussion, how do we expect things to change? I actually wrote a post and, as sorry as it sounds, I’m a little scare to publish it. What if I’m the only one feeling or experiencing these things? I’m sure I’m not, after all, it’s on the news all the time. But I’m curious to hear what you’ve experienced in your career growth. In my post, I only touch the tip of the iceberg regarding maternity leave, career growth and the struggle of balancing working and home. I was hoping to gather examples or thoughts from readers to compile a more comprehensive post and ignite a discussion regarding these topics. Yes, these can be very passionate discussions, but I think it’s time to start another thread- and perhaps in a more unconventional way. I want to hear from everyone- not just working moms. Both SAHM’s and dads, give feedback and thoughts too. I want to know what people are experiencing in regards to maternity leave and growing in your career. What is the craziest thing someone has ever said to you in regards to your gender? What is the perception you’ve seen in your career as a working mom? Has it gotten better or worse?

With your permission, I will take the feedback and finalize the blog post and get the discussion going. If you want it used anonymously, feel free to message me your comment. This might be a small start, but any little piece can help to move the discussion forward. If not for our generation, then hopefully for our children. Ready, set, go!

A Very Special Blanket

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

I love blankets. I kind of feel like you can never have enough of them. Well, unless you have limited storage space like we do. But really, who doesn’t love a great blanket to snuggle under?! The big boys have a variety of blankets they have been gifted over the years so when I was pregnant with Asher I made it a point to get at least 1 blanket that was “just his”. It wasn’t a hand-me-down like most everything else he has. For one of my showers, a dear friend got Asher a blanket as well. This was not just any blanket, it had characters on it. Now, some people know that I am not a fan of character covered anything. It’s just not my thing. So, when I first peeked a glimpse of the blanket I was a little worried. Please don’t let it be one of those newer, creepy cartoon characters. You know, the ones that are on TV now that are so different from the Saturday morning cartoons we used to watch. Anyway, I saw that it was a Toy Story blanket, one of Hub’s favorite Disney movies. I guess it can’t be that bad right? I pulled the blanket out and it was a big double lined fleece blanket with Toy Story characters and soft fringe. It even had Asher’s initials in the corner. ADORABLE! Gasp! Was I really liking a character blanket?? I guess this third baby was making me soft!

Fast forward about a year and we’ve begun using it regularly in Asher’s playpen (you know how you can’t have blankets within 10 feet of a baby while they’re sleeping so we waited to use the big blankets until then). When we were packing for our trip to Michigan over Christmas, I thought it would be the perfect blanket to bring along. It’s big and cozy and he really seemed to be loving it. I also brought 2 of his other favorite blankets hoping to make his “mobile” sleeping experience a little better.

About half way through our trip, on our way to my parent’s house, we encountered some pretty nasty weather. It was cold, so cold that the buckle on the car top luggage carrier broke clean off and we had to CRAM everything in the back of the car. As I was driving, we noticed that traffic suddenly slowed down. We were in the far left lane and just up ahead there was a car that had crashed so hard into the concrete median that is was propped up at an angle. Just beyond that was another car that also appeared to have crashed and it’s front bumper was on the ground. There was a lady standing near the propped up car but there were no emergency vehicles there yet. As we begun to pass the second car, we realized that what we thought was a bumper on the ground was actually a woman lying in the snow on the shoulder of the road. I pulled over and hubs jumped out to go check on her. The boys, of course alarmed by seeing what they thought was a dead body on the side of the road, began praying for her. We prayed for the people in the accident, those who were helping and those on their way. A few moments later hubs came running back looking to see if we had any blankets available to cover her up. She was likely okay- probably just in shock. They didn’t want to move her but it was too cold to keep her uncovered. All we had were Asher’s 3 favorite blankets. So, without much thought, we dug them out of the back of the car (I literally had some of our luggage sitting on the side of I-94 trying to find things) and he took them back over to cover her up. When I got back in the car, I was torn. Do I just say keep the blankets? The other 2 blankets were hand-me-downs and although he loved them, he really loved the Toy Story blanket. And it has his initials on it. But do I sound like a selfish jerk asking for that back? And then I realize I sound even more of an idiot because I’m worried about that while this lady is laying on the side of the road in the snow. After a bit, the police showed up, got Hubs statement, and then sent him on his way. He got back in the car and said that he told them to keep the blankets. Without any forethought to my words, I told him we needed the Toy Story one back. It has his initials, it was a gift, and he loves it. So, because he’s wonderful, he went back and got the blanket (they were getting her into the ambulance by then so she was no longer using the blankets). So, after a good washing at my mom’s house, he was able to snuggle back up with his blanket. He’s been using that at bed ever since.

It wasn’t until earlier last week I realized how much he loves that blanket though. I had it in the laundry and was washing it for the second time because I had let it sit in the washer too long. Anyone else do that? I finally had it in the dryer when I was putting Asher to bed. I grabbed another fleece blanket and tucked him in. He was not interested in going to bed, which is weird because he basically puts himself to bed every night. He literally takes us to his room, has us rock him, and then points to his crib when he’s ready to go to sleep. So for him to be fussy was unusual. I figured that the easy bedtime was a phase and he would have to cry it out. Well, over 30 minutes later, he was still crying. The dryer finished and I took the blanket in there as a last ditch effort to get him to sleep. As soon as he saw it, he smiled, danced and grabbed for it. He immediately laid down and fell asleep. SERIOUSLY!

That is when I was SO thankful that Hubs went back and got that blanket. This amazing blanket is not only Asher’s favorite, it has some fun stories and meaning behind it. It was a very thoughtful gift, personalized to him, and also helped someone in a time of need. I like to think that if that blanket could help a stranger in their moment of distress, it can certainly comfort Asher, and it does every night.

 

Earning My Cape

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

It’s not often that I can say I’ve had a “super mom” moment. Actually, there are seldom times like that because I feel when I do have moments that seem that I’ve accomplished something, it’s part of the expected duties as a mom, so it really doesn’t count as anything. However, I recently had a moment where I earned that infamous “super mom cape”.

I was in Puerto Rico for work (tough life right?). Hubs and I had figured out all of the miscellaneous details of kids, schedules, school, etc. and I knew it was going to be just fine. Because we’re working from about 6am to 10pm daily, there is not a lot of time to do much of anything else. This means that if I have a moment to talk to hubs and the kids, I’m asking them how their day was, instead of reminding them of everything. Well, it just so happens there was a field trip on the Friday I was gone. It was an “in school” field trip. I suppose both hubs and I didn’t think much of it since it was in school and it was one day of the week when Elijah would actually eat whatever was on the hot lunch menu. I neglected to remember that for in school field trips you need to bring a lunch because you do not eat at the time hot lunch is served. Oops.

Well, that morning I got a call from Elijah, concerned because he didn’t have a lunch for the day. He remembered that I had signed him up for the event and thought maybe I had something figured out for his lunch. Um yeah, hot lunch. Well, hubs was over an hour away from the school and I clearly was not able to get there anytime soon. After some back and forth calls and texts with hubs, I had the Jimmy John’s website queued up and ready to deliver a sandwich for lunch time. However, I didn’t want to be the mom that had food delivered for her kid and the PTA protest me for giving him processed food- or something like that. I asked to speak to his teacher just to make sure it would be okay. I explained that I was out of the state traveling and hubs was at class and we had gotten our wires crossed. She assured me that it would be fine to have food delivered, but the cafeteria can also provide him a bag lunch. What?! You mean I didn’t have to order the freaky fast subs after all? Sweet! So, by the end of the day, Elijah had a lunch, hubs was (relatively) uninterrupted in his class and all of that was done while I was on a break from the general session, in Puerto Rico. Best of all, we all got a good laugh out of it. Well maybe not Elijah. They gave him a PB&J (he hates peanut butter). But, better than not eating right? So, all in all, not too bad if you ask me.

TO: The Others (“Med Student +1”)

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

Part of being the “+1” of a med student is learning to cope while life, as you know it, changes. It doesn’t matter if you’re dating, married, or married with kids. Life changes. A lot. And it’s not pretty at all. I try hard to stay smiling and keep my head up for hubs, after all, he’s in the thick of it. It’s best if he has one less thing to worry about. However, I am human. I started blogging as one outlet, but it tends to be a one sided conversation so that’s not always therapeutic.

Towards the end of last school year a professor at the med school asked hubs if I would be interested in starting a spouse/partner support group for the undergraduate medical students. I decided it was worth a shot. I’m not a group leader of anything so I wasn’t really sure what to do. I really wanted to hear what others expected out of the group. I thought, based on how I was feeling, it didn’t seem to make sense to do some big, extravagant get together and act like everything is perfect. It’s not. Life is chaotic on a good day and more often than not, I feel like I’m sharing hubs with 179 other people. It seems a little Facebookish to pretend it’s fine when it’s not. I really wanted to hear what others had in mind. So I brought lots of food and hoped it would cover the fact I had no set plan. Of course I had a small panic attack while I was heading to the meeting. What if I’m really the happiest person there and everyone else is on the brink of disaster? Or, what if I’m Debbie Downer? Or what if I’m the only one who shows up?! I’m happy to say that none of the above happened. We had about 7 or 8 people attend and they’re all incredible! They have good days and bad ones. It’s been challenging and every single frustration or story that was shared was wholeheartedly agreed upon by other group members. It was amazing!

So, for those that have a person in med school (or any other similar situation), here are some words of advice as stated by folks in the group.

  • You are NOT ALONE! If you’re person is not alone in their situation, you’re not the only person in yours. Find your peers and vent together, smile together or just know you have each other when needed.
  • It’s always changing. Each semester changes and new challenges are introduced while old ones (if we’re lucky) go away. Be prepared for change and embrace it as an opportunity to see what you are capable of.
  • Share the good, bad, and ugly of what you’re going through and expect that almost everyone (outside of your group of peers) will not understand. It’s okay to be human and no one should expect you to be perfect all of the time.
  • Take it one step at a time. Don’t look at all of the different tasks over the next several years. Handle it a task at a time. For example, don’t stress about where you will match for residency your first year. You have a few years before that comes up.
  • COMMUNICATE!!! I cannot stress this enough! Everyone in the group said this too- talking about things makes it easier when tough stuff comes up- which will happen. Even if it takes them 2 days to text you back, keep trying, don’t give up!

For those of you who are friends or family to the “+1”, here are a few bits of advice:

  • Be kind. We know that this was a choice. It’s not like our person woke up one day and was required to go to med school. They chose to go. But when we’re having a bad day, we don’t need you to remind us that “you chose this, deal with it”. Sometimes we just need to vent.
  • This ties into the first point of being kind. Allow us to be grumpy, depressed, have a bad day, or whatever we need. There are periods of time where things really are crappy- and that is putting it really nice. Sometimes we need a moment to have a pity party and then move on. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows here people!
  • Stop acting like med school takes 3 decades to complete. It’s only 4 years and then residency. Most people agree that when you have kids, you blink your eyes and they go from a baby to elementary school. The same applies to our med school person. I can hardly believe that hubs is half way through his second year. It doesn’t seem possible!
  • Please don’t assume that just because hubs will be a doctor that I no longer want to work and I will be a “Doctor’s Wife” (said with my best snooty enthusiasm). He was a teacher when we married so I clearly didn’t marry him for his money. I built up my own career and enjoy it. Not to mention we will have a ba-zillion dollars of med school loans to pay off so I’m pretty sure I’ll be working until I’m 110.
  • Don’t be offended if you do not get first dibs at the med student. As a “+1” we wait patiently day after day, text after text, waiting to hear back from our person, daydreaming of an extravagant date night watching DVR reruns of The Blacklist and eating old takeout. We’ve dealt with their roller coaster of emotions during these different blocks of classes and have earned that alone time. Don’t worry, you’ll get your time, just be patient.

I’m sure there is a lot more- which I would love to hear. But most of all, don’t give up. Know you’re not alone and that the end of this grueling process is not far away. It’s worth it.

Full Circle

~ Kara Mills ~ 2 Comments

Almost 1 year ago- to the day- I published my first blog post. I really wasn’t sure what would happen with it. Would I post once and walk away having checked an item off my bucket list? Would it become a sensational piece of writing and I could retire young? Okay- I really wasn’t holding my breath for that one. Would I even continue on to be able to celebrate 1 year of therapeutic writing? All kinds of questions came to mind. I can actually remember it, vividly. I remember it because I was sitting in a hotel room in Las Vegas, having been at a conference all day for work, and decided on a whim it was time for ME to have a “hobby”. Something outside of work that I can use as a medium and voice I wouldn’t otherwise have. So, here I am, full circle, because I am sitting in a hotel room- in Phoenix this time for work- thinking about what I should do. I like writing, I’ve been told by some that I’m decent at it (thank you by the way- even if you’re exaggerating!). It’s been interesting to share some stories along the way that I feel are entertaining, and even educational at times. So, in honor of this blogiversary, I am listing a few things I have learned over the last year.

  • Any posts written about hubs and/or medical school always had the most views. I make 2 conclusions from this. The first is that hubs is a pretty awesome guy (which is why I married him!) so he of course would be interesting to read about because who goes back to medical school at our age?! The second is that perhaps most of the people reading those posts are friends/classmates of hubs and that is what drives the traffic. That kind of makes sense, except that I thought all they did was study in med school. Maybe I was mistaken…
  • Having a blog is like having a business, without the need to for taxes. I feel like there is some component of marketing and customer interaction but I don’t have to worry about filing taxes and I have free reign in what I say. Kind of awesome if you ask me!
  • There is a very dedicated group of folks who write often, interact often and have a ba-zillion followers through all of the different avenues. I am not one of those. I made a commitment to myself that I would post at least once a month and I have done so over the last year. I may try to do more but why put the pressure on and make it not fun?
  • I was able to write about the relevant, irritating, entertaining first world problems that we encounter on a daily basis. I am not changing the world with this blog, but I hope that it can make someone smile. And perhaps, in a small, butterfly effect kind of way that can have a positive impact the world? Am I grasping for straws?
  • It made me realize that an item on my bucket list, writing a book, is actually a possibility. Now, I didn’t say it would be a GOOD book, just a book. Someday. Not now. Med school and book writing are akin to mixing oil and water.

So, it’s not a profound list, just a few notable items. I will truck along and see what the next year of writing brings. Hopefully less writers block and more entertaining topics to share! Thank you to all who read, encourage me, and tell others about my writing. I’m always open for suggestions and really do value your input! Happy reading!

The Talk

~ Kara Mills ~ 2 Comments

Well, it was bound to happen at some point. Elijah is in fourth grade and I know that they will begin talking about puberty and all of those things that made us blush when we were that age. We’ve always taken a very honest approach with the boys. Meaning, that we would always tell the (age appropriate) truth when they asked questions. When I became pregnant with Asher, there was obviously some interesting discussions. Aden for a long time thought that people got pregnant when they got “married”. So, according to the reproductive guidelines from Aden, hubs and I have been “married” 3 times. We left that alone for the moment.

Tonight was a different story. On our way home from Elijah’s Lego League practice (more info to come on that later), we began talking about bodily fluids that carry disease. Now, I won’t go into great detail on this post- although I’m sure you’re wondering how in the world we got onto that subject. Let’s just say, when you put enough elementary school kids together, there is bound to be at least one kid who picks their nose….and eats it. Like caviar.

Sorry, I had to puke in my mouth for a second. Anyway, I was explaining to Elijah that you can’t just go around sharing finger foods (popcorn, pretzels, chips, etc.) with everyone because it’s a concentrated germ factory in there. Honestly, I may not have been so passionate about it had I not seen the nasal caviar incident, but now, it’s totally on my radar. So, as I was explaining this, he asks me why boogers are a bio-hazard. I explain that there are a number of virus’ and bacteria that are carried in there. He then asks why blood is a bio-hazard. I begin explaining that there are virus’ that can be transferred through blood or bodily fluids that can be harmful to people. Did you catch that? I said bodily fluids. Yeah, I didn’t catch that either, until he asked me what I meant by that. Crap. I wasn’t really prepared to have this discussion on the car ride home from Lego League, while I’m super tired too. So, I thought that if I ask him some questions, maybe I can get an idea of where he is in his understanding and then carefully select how to respond- and then hubs and I can address it with him later on in more detail. Here was the conversation.

Me: “Well Elijah, what do you really know about how a baby is made?”

Elijah: “Yes, God puts the baby in the moms belly and it grows.”

Me: “Yes, I suppose that’s right on a grander scale, but what happens with the mom and dad?”

Elijah: “Oh yeah, that. Well, the dad uses his jelly beans and puts a molecule in the mom and it grows into a baby. When it gets a little bigger, the genetic profile is created to say if it’s a boy or a girl.”

Me: (smiling) “Yup, that’s pretty much it. The bodily fluids are the fluids that help that molecule get into the mom, which is how disease can be spread.”

Elijah: “Ooohhh, that makes sense!”

So, maybe not my best response (remember, I was REALLY tired), but in the end, he seems to have understood what I was trying to say. And, my greater hope, is that he will think twice before sharing finger foods with everyone!