Business

Managing Me

~ Kara Mills ~ 1 Comment

Well, it’s been a while. Certainly long overdue. I’ve missed writing but life has been extremely hectic. Hubs has been rotating through different pediatric specialties and I’ve been holding down the fort. The fort consists of the 4 kiddos, basketball (coaching the in-house team), middle school musical, state honors choir, school concerts, doctors appointments, you get the idea. Oh, and work. I have a new role at work so I’ve been climbing the learning curve hill for a while. It’s kind of funny because when people ask how I do everything, I usually say “by the grace of God”. I truly mean that. On my best days I feel like I’m failing and barely processing one moment at a time. Any “me” time is usually spent sleeping (if I’m lucky). On occasion I’ve made it out to get my toes done or was able to run to the grocery store on my own – because isn’t grocery shopping what every mom dreams of doing right after work in the 15 minutes of quiet time they have?!

I will say that hubs does an amazing job of helping out, when he can, and also recognizes when I need time away. However, he can’t always be here so those opportunities are few and far between. I also don’t count work trips as “me” time. Because they’re WORK trips. I’m WORKING. I appreciate having hot food and having a bed that is not inhabited by a toddler but I’m still working and have places to be at specific times.

So, I got to thinking. The last several months my head has been spinning and I know that most areas of our life are not changing any time soon. I need to change something. A few years back I did a New Year’s resolution of reading my bible everyday before I would get on social media or play games on my phone. Unlike all of the resolutions that I had done in the past (usually diet related and I LOVE me some food!), I actually did this one the entire year and it was transformational for me. Being that it’s that time of year again and if I’m being honest with myself, I’m unlikely to really embrace a new eating regimen, I need to think about other well-being options. I’ve decided to focus on me a little more. Ugh, that feels uncomfortable.

I talked through this with hubs before writing because it just feels weird. I’m so used to getting everyone else where they need to be or others items done before my own. Talking with other parents, I know I’m not alone. We often put our kids, spouses, pets, co-workers, bosses, <insert most everyone else>, before ourselves. Especially if you get moving so fast you are running on auto-pilot and do not even realize you’re doing it.

So, for 2020, the start to the new decade, I am going to focus on making sure a portion of my day is for ME. I am going to find different hobbies I love or things that interest me to fill in that time. For the first 5 weeks of the year I’ve joined a FB group to makeover a room in our house. It’s low key but super interesting and I’ve picked our bedroom so I can make an oasis to relax in after (2 birds, 1 stone?). After that, I want to start painting and drawing again. And, of course writing. I want to focus on my friendships too. I have a lot of amazing people in my life that I see regularly and if you look at my phone or social posts, you wouldn’t know that because I’m usually chasing kids and not getting pictures and spending time with them. It doesn’t mean I can go out every night, or even every weekend. But, it does mean I want to be intentional about keeping up with my friends and family. Getting pictures to remember how awesome 2020 was.

So, my dear readers – if any of you are even left out there reading this blog – please hold me accountable. Ask me what I’ve been doing for my hobby. Let’s get pictures together and keep in touch. It’s the people around me that can help keep me grounded and sane when life feels so, so crazy. Follow me on IG at @workingmommymemoirs or @karajmills so see if I’m actually doing what I said I was going to do. Here’s to an amazing start to 2020!

To Post…?

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

I’ve been milling over a few ideas for writing lately. My passion and reason for starting the blog in the first place is to have an outlet for my struggles as a working mom and to hear from other working moms. What works, what doesn’t? What silly things happen that we can share and laugh about (maybe not right, away but hopefully someday!)?

One thing I’ve seen a lot in the news lately, aside from raunchy politics, are stories about women “leaning in”, maternity leave, and imbalance in the workplace. These are not new topics. I think we beat it like a dead horse expecting things to get better, but the definition of insanity applies here. If we don’t change the discussion, how do we expect things to change? I actually wrote a post and, as sorry as it sounds, I’m a little scare to publish it. What if I’m the only one feeling or experiencing these things? I’m sure I’m not, after all, it’s on the news all the time. But I’m curious to hear what you’ve experienced in your career growth. In my post, I only touch the tip of the iceberg regarding maternity leave, career growth and the struggle of balancing working and home. I was hoping to gather examples or thoughts from readers to compile a more comprehensive post and ignite a discussion regarding these topics. Yes, these can be very passionate discussions, but I think it’s time to start another thread- and perhaps in a more unconventional way. I want to hear from everyone- not just working moms. Both SAHM’s and dads, give feedback and thoughts too. I want to know what people are experiencing in regards to maternity leave and growing in your career. What is the craziest thing someone has ever said to you in regards to your gender? What is the perception you’ve seen in your career as a working mom? Has it gotten better or worse?

With your permission, I will take the feedback and finalize the blog post and get the discussion going. If you want it used anonymously, feel free to message me your comment. This might be a small start, but any little piece can help to move the discussion forward. If not for our generation, then hopefully for our children. Ready, set, go!

Weeks In Review: From Puking to #DistractinglySexy

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

In the true spirit of “memoirs”, here are a few that have happened recently. I feel like the adventures that happen daily as a (working) mom can be exhausting when happening all in the same day. Clearly God had mercy on me and all of these things happened over the course of 2 weeks, which I suppose makes it more bearable. Maybe we’re just lucky, or maybe this is normal for you too?? I’m interested to hear…. Continue reading →

Why I Work- A Soapbox

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

It’s been crazy busy lately- thus the no posting for almost a month. But, it’s about time I got on my soapbox, so bear with me. I have chosen to work, have a career, whatever you want to call it, for 3 reasons.

1) I’ve often talked about work serving as a creative outlet for me. I love what I do so it’s not just “work”, but also something I enjoy, and that I’m good at.

2) It’s time away from our home routine that allows me to recharge.

3) It’s also the challenge of working through the red tape, politics, and silly little situations that keeps me challenged. It also makes me a little crazy sometimes, but isn’t that part of a good challenge??

Continue reading →

Reevaluating

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

Lately, I’ve been at an interesting point in my career. I’ve been in my field for over 10 years and am lucky enough to be doing what I love. I would have never, in a million years, thought that I would be working in the restaurant industry, that’s for sure. However, there is still so much more I would like to do. I’m thankful enough that I can also talk openly about my aspirations with my boss and others at my job, so I don’t feel like I’ve hit any type of “ceiling”. The more challenging part is figuring out that work-life balance. Basically, a load of crap if you ask me. When I look at all of the items on our family’s plate, leaning in feels more like falling on my face. With hubs in med school, I’m working full time and then 3 kids all over the place it doesn’t seem possible to do more. That is, if I were on my own. I sometimes discount hubs (sorry babe!).

I was talking with hubs and explaining how I had ideas of a few things I would like to do, but I knew that it would take more time on my end at work. Meaning, we would have to work together on our schedule. Honestly, I had almost expected the response to be maybe I should hold off for a while until he is done and then I’ll focus on my stuff. Instead, he said, “We’ll figure it out. We will plan ahead, accordingly as needed”. And that was that. It was genuine and absolutely final.

If only work life balance were that easy right? Fast forward a couple of weeks and we’re, yet again, battling a bad virus that is spreading through our house, despite my never ending bleaching and cleaning. So, just as I’m thinking that maybe this might be easier than I thought, everyone starts getting sick and hubs has some mandatory school stuff. That means that I am the on-call parent this week, which is the case most weeks with his crazy schedule. It doesn’t seem like balance can be part of the vocabulary at that point. Of course, it’s always a little difficult to see the sunshine through the Lysol haze. After a few moments of deep breathing (away from the fumes of course) I was reminded of what a co-worker had told me. Balance is not always even all the time. It’s a give and take process. Some weeks will be 90% home and 10% work and others will be the opposite. It’s finding the right balance of a percentage, to make both places not fall apart, that makes it a good work-life balance. So, while this week may seem chaotic, the next several could be back to normal and totally manageable. Plus, having a spouse who is a PARTNER in the relationship and who encourages me, makes all the difference in the world.

…Book By It’s Cover

~ Kara Mills ~ 5 Comments

You know how the old saying goes “Never judge a book by its cover”. I’m not too surprised by how often this holds true. I can think of multiple situations where I find myself judging, thankfully usually in private, and am able to see that it might not appear to be quite what I had thought. Yes, I am judging. Don’t judge me…or do. Whatever. Either way, at the end of the day I realize the error of my inquiring questions and mark it in my brain to not do it again. At least not in that next moment.

My most recent episode of judging happened a few weeks ago. Hubs and I got a new car (yay!). You see, we had our delightful minivan, a 2006 that had graciously made it to over 203,000 miles. She was a trooper and saw us through many trips, kid pickups, work adventures, you name it, she got us there. However, she was getting old and tired you might say. I felt like a good analogy was that she was in hospice, it was only a matter of time and we had known this for a while. Continue reading →

Business Travel

~ Kara Mills ~ Leave a comment

It was inevitable that at some point after having our third baby I would have to face that first business trip away. I had to do it with the other 2 and it was always fine. That was before hubs was a medical student though. Now, in addition to med school, he has 3 drop offs, pick ups, lunches…oh and the first snow storm of the season to complicate matters a little more. I think today it would be safe to say he’s happy he has Jesus- and a car with decent tires!

So, as I was packing, I had a moment where I felt like super mom. I packed the boys lunches for the 2 days, picked clothes out for both days, and even ran to Walmart later at night to get boots for the boys for the impending snow storm (that could have been a blog post in itself!). I even tried on several outfits to find the best one for my first trip away- and of course the one that can mask the baby fat the best! By the time I laid down to go to bed, I felt like I had conquered the world. I laughed and told hubs that I should probably do that every night- or every Sunday- to prepare ahead and save myself a headache every morning but that would be WAY too organized.

So, fast forward to the morning I leave. I have a “hangover” of success from completing virtually everything I had hoped to complete. Continue reading →