For Moms (and Dads) of Boys

We know a bit about raising boys. I mean, at least until they’re in elementary school. We haven’t made it to the teenage years (which I hear is way easier than having a teenage girl), but I feel like there are a number of items that we have on our list of things we need to teach them. I am fortunate because my mother-in-law taught hubs well, so when we first started dating, I really didn’t face a lot of the things mentioned below. I’ve just heard about them from friends and co-workers over the years. Sometimes they’re complaining, other times they’re just stating a fact, like they know that’s how it’s always going to be. It made me realize that there are some things I need to make sure they are taught. Hopefully that will give me a shot at a healthier relationship with my daughter-in-laws someday. Well, as healthy as that relationship can be I suppose. Continue reading

Why I Work- A Soapbox

It’s been crazy busy lately- thus the no posting for almost a month. But, it’s about time I got on my soapbox, so bear with me. I have chosen to work, have a career, whatever you want to call it, for 3 reasons.

1) I’ve often talked about work serving as a creative outlet for me. I love what I do so it’s not just “work”, but also something I enjoy, and that I’m good at.

2) It’s time away from our home routine that allows me to recharge.

3) It’s also the challenge of working through the red tape, politics, and silly little situations that keeps me challenged. It also makes me a little crazy sometimes, but isn’t that part of a good challenge??

Continue reading

Reevaluating

Lately, I’ve been at an interesting point in my career. I’ve been in my field for over 10 years and am lucky enough to be doing what I love. I would have never, in a million years, thought that I would be working in the restaurant industry, that’s for sure. However, there is still so much more I would like to do. I’m thankful enough that I can also talk openly about my aspirations with my boss and others at my job, so I don’t feel like I’ve hit any type of “ceiling”. The more challenging part is figuring out that work-life balance. Basically, a load of crap if you ask me. When I look at all of the items on our family’s plate, leaning in feels more like falling on my face. With hubs in med school, I’m working full time and then 3 kids all over the place it doesn’t seem possible to do more. That is, if I were on my own. I sometimes discount hubs (sorry babe!).

I was talking with hubs and explaining how I had ideas of a few things I would like to do, but I knew that it would take more time on my end at work. Meaning, we would have to work together on our schedule. Honestly, I had almost expected the response to be maybe I should hold off for a while until he is done and then I’ll focus on my stuff. Instead, he said, “We’ll figure it out. We will plan ahead, accordingly as needed”. And that was that. It was genuine and absolutely final.

If only work life balance were that easy right? Fast forward a couple of weeks and we’re, yet again, battling a bad virus that is spreading through our house, despite my never ending bleaching and cleaning. So, just as I’m thinking that maybe this might be easier than I thought, everyone starts getting sick and hubs has some mandatory school stuff. That means that I am the on-call parent this week, which is the case most weeks with his crazy schedule. It doesn’t seem like balance can be part of the vocabulary at that point. Of course, it’s always a little difficult to see the sunshine through the Lysol haze. After a few moments of deep breathing (away from the fumes of course) I was reminded of what a co-worker had told me. Balance is not always even all the time. It’s a give and take process. Some weeks will be 90% home and 10% work and others will be the opposite. It’s finding the right balance of a percentage, to make both places not fall apart, that makes it a good work-life balance. So, while this week may seem chaotic, the next several could be back to normal and totally manageable. Plus, having a spouse who is a PARTNER in the relationship and who encourages me, makes all the difference in the world.

Empty Threats

You’ve probably heard it before, you’re out at the store and there is a mom who is just about at her limit with her screaming child. She finally blows her top and tells the child that they’re never going have candy again if they don’t stop crying. Next thing you know, the kid is picking out a candy bar while waiting in the checkout line. That kid knows how to work the system. I’m talking about empty threats. Everyone does it some time or another. It might be in the heat of the moment and you say they will never get a toy again in their whole life. Yeah, that is probably not going to happen, but I get it, we all have those moments. I’m talking about continually doing that. It’s about keeping credibility with the kids. They need to know that you will do what you say you will do. Continue reading

Hubs: My Hero

A big part of being married and knowing your spouse is knowing what really knocks their socks off. For some women it might be a nice purse or piece of jewelry. For others it may be time away getting pampered (my second choice item). For me however, my first choice is having a clean house. If I walk in and the floors are shining and things are tidied up….look out! This mama is doing a dance! Oh, you’ve emptied the dishwasher…shut your face! The laundry is folded…and put away! Oh go on you say! Pure bliss is what I call that! Continue reading

Lucky to Be Alive

The kids in our house have been dropping like flies. Aden was in the ER for his usual asthma stuff, which was triggered by a bad cold. It’s so usual that the respiratory therapist even recognized us. And gave us the same lecture she gave us the last time we were there 2 months ago. Clearly it’s not really working because we were back again. Sunday morning I stayed home with all of the boys instead of going to church and it was a good thing I did, Elijah woke up with a 102.7 fever. Nice. Did I mention Asher was battle a nice little cold/ear infection too? Oh yeah, and hubs has mid-terms this week. Oh, and another thing, my boss is in town this week because it is performance appraisal time at work. Nothing says “I want to advance my career” like “I need to reschedule my performance appraisal, and take a day off because my kids are sick and my husband has mid-terms”. I may be misguided and presumptuous by saying this, but the thought did cross my mind that if I was a SAHM it might be a little easier. At least I would have one less thing to schedule around- work. But, I really do love my job. Continue reading

Valentine’s Day Boxes

So there is a thing here in Minnesota, or probably everywhere, that I’m just learning about with the boys now in elementary school. I don’t recall this from Michigan, at least from friends that had kids in elementary school, but of course Pinterest didn’t really exist when we lived there- at least not like it does today. Valentine’s Day boxes. The joy for every Pinterest obsessed mom and the dread for every mom just making ends meet with getting homework done and lunches packed. Now, for those of you who might not quite understand the whole box occult, I would tell you to go to Pinterest and look it up, but you would be gone for a few hours and forget to finish reading my post. Continue reading

Dirty Laundry

Would all the moms out there who picked some piece of dirty clothing at some point during the day please raise your hand? Okay, for the 3 moms out there that did not, please let me know what your tricks are. Here is what happened in our house today- and know this is a fairly standard occurrence. I get up to get in the shower and realize that there is a small mountain of clothes on the bathroom floor. Continue reading

Can You Have It All?

Can you have it ALL? This topic can provoke some pretty intense feelings and certainly some very strong opinions. The timeless debate of whether a mom should work or not. And, if you do- can you have it all? Now, I’m not saying that Stay At Home Mom’s (SAHM) don’t work. Anyone who has children knows that is rewarding but exhausting work. I’m talking about if a woman CAN or SHOULD work if she has kids- is it possible to have both? Continue reading